Touching Darkness
by MidnightEmber
Summary: Tohma pushes Shuichi out of Eiri's life. Together with K, Shuichi leaves Japan without a single goodbye...What will happen? Yuki/Shu
1. Leaving

Chapter One: Leaving

The night seemed darker than usual even though the city lights bounced clearly into the room. Cars flashed by illuminating the room, once their room. Had he heard correctly? He wasn't sure even now whether he was making the correct decision to listen to Tohma over his heart. K would pick him up soon and then they would leave Japan for good without anyone even noticing they disappeared. Sighing, Shuichi thought back two days ago when Tohma had discussed the situation and he had finally made his decision.

_- Flashback –_

_Shuichi ran down the hall at breakneck speed desperately rushing towards his lover's hospital room. Supposedly Yuki had another fit and coughed up blood before being rushed to the hospital. Shuichi was really worried about his lover yet there was one road block, Tohma Seguchi. Tohma still blamed Shuichi for the first time Yuki coughed up blood so this time wouldn't be any better. But he could handle anything Tohma dished out as long as he had Yuki by his side supporting him in his own way. Rushing into the room, Shuichi rushed to a stop beside his sleeping lover's bed. _

"_Shindo-san, this is entirely your fault yet again. How many times do I have to tell you! You're the reason Eiri keeps getting sick if you left him none of this would happen." Tohma said trying to keep his voice down._

_Shuichi glared at Tohma. "Yuki never blamed me for his illness, only you."_

_Silence fell upon them. Yuki seemed to be dreaming and mumbling under his breath. "Stupid brat..." Shuichi heard him say and couldn't help but smiling. He would brag later to Yuki that he had talked about him in his sleep knowing that Yuki would deny it. _

"_Shindo-san." Tohma's dark voice pierced through him. Shuichi took a moment to look from his lover to his boss. Tohma looked like he wanted to kill Shuichi as he held Yuki's hand lovingly._

"_Shindo-san, what's more important to you Eiri's health or your own feelings?" _

_Shuichi stared at Tohma. Of course Yuki was more important that his feelings. What type of question was this?_

"_Can't you see that it's your love that is making Eiri sick? If none of this is making any sense to you then I shall pull a tour for Bad Luck and you can spend a few months away from Eiri instead of leaving on your own accord."_

_Then he finally understood. It was because of his feelings for Yuki that reminded Yuki think of Kitazawa and the terrible memories of his past. Somehow he just couldn't leave Yuki though no matter how many times Tohma had said this. Then he remembered what Tohma had just said, 'tour for Bad Luck and you can spend a few months away from Yuki...' Tohma was threatening the band. _

_A silent tear trickled down his cheek as he stood. Shuichi knew what he had to do, the hardest thing ever, he had to leave. He kissed Yuki once before bowing politely to Tohma, even though he wanted to kill Tohma for making him leave. Without turning back, he left the room silently trying not to disturb Yuki before running out of the hospital tears spilling down his face._

_- End Flashback -_

Shuichi sat on the edge of their bed. It was now four o'clock on Monday morning and he was supposed to go into work at ten o'clock. He was tired of Tohma threatening the band to get his way, so Shuichi had called K and told him everything. Within a day of Tohma throwing him out of Yuki's room and life in one shot, K had arranged for both of them to leave the country. No one was going to realize they had left until Tohma read the letters of resignation on his desk when he turned up for work at nine o'clock and by then it would be too late. Both K and Shuichi would be on Judy's private jet leaving Japan for good.

K kicked the door to Yuki's apartment open and walked in like he never did anything looking for Shuichi who was silently looking out of the bedroom window suitcases packed and lying on the bed.

"Shuichi are you sure you want to do this?" K asked staring at the back of the pink head.

Shuichi turned to face K giving a simple nod in reply. K picked up Shuichi's suitcases and left the room carrying them down to his car parked below. Without a single tear left, Shuichi picked up his backpack and with a final glance around the room mournfully he closed and locked the door sliding his key beneath so that Yuki would find it when he was released and sent home tomorrow. The elevators closed once more upon the sad figure of Shuichi as he left Yuki's life for good.

**Alrighty well this was...fun? I'm not entirely sure why I'm doing a Gravitation fanfiction I think it's cause I just had a Gravitation rush... :-S well yeah I think I shall continue this anyway...just cause I'm still stuck on Gravi...3Gravi **

**Oh I have no idea where this is going to go after this any ideas? Well I shall think as well and mix and match them...Anywho next chapter shall be up when I finish it XD**

**~MidnightEmber~**


	2. Tokyo

Chapter Two: Tokyo

Three years and nothing's changed, Shuichi thought as his private jet landed in Tokyo, well almost nothing. Since leaving Japan, Shuichi had thrown himself into music with all his heart. However his music had changed dramatically with the loss of any love in his life. Shuichi also changed his appearance as he entered XMR under the name Chaos changing his life completely. Shu's once candy coloured hair was now as black as the night with bleach blonde highlights through his fringe only but still kept the same length. He had two piercings on the bottom of each ear and another on the top left ear. Hardly any bright colours made it into his wardrobe which consisted of mainly black with red, white or silver depending on what mood he was in on the day. Yes, he had left 'Shuichi' here and was now completely Chaos, leader singer of Touching Darkness.

"Hurry up Chaos! Get your ass in gear!" yelled Rage their drummer. He wasn't really known for his patience fitting since he was Reiji's cousin. No one in their band actually used their names on stage or in life anymore for reasons that only that person knew about. They were all simply talented musicians running away from their own problems.

Without a sound, Shuichi stood grabbing his bag while K grabbed his gun preparing to leave the jet. Following behind K, Shuichi entered the airport followed by is band mates Rage, Mello and Sorrow. The busy Tokyo airport was filled with screaming fans as well as people scurrying to catch their flight. Sure Shuichi loved the fans but while he was suffering from jetlag he didn't want anything to do with them. Signs around them had 'Touching Darkness' written in curly writing with the obvious symbol used for their band a black and white checked cross.

A black limo waited for them outside. Shuichi climbed in followed by his band mates, K and their producer Alex. As soon as the limo began driving to their destination an apartment block that would be their temporary home for three months, his band mates turned up the music in the back so it blasted them deaf. The heavy tones made it hard to hear anything anyone was talking about which gave Shuichi time to think instead while K sat silently beside him polishing his gun.

'Why did I agree to this stupid tour' Shuichi thought while mentally slapping himself. 'If Seguchi figures out who I am I'm as good as dead. More importantly what if Yuki finds me?' Thoughts kept flowing through his mind as his worry increased. So far he had made it three years without Yuki because he didn't have to hear about him every day and there were no reminders of him at all in New York...well almost none but he had handled that as best as he could. A hand was gently placed on his right shoulder. Shuichi looked up at K as his mouth moved but the words were lost to the music. Raising a hand to his ear to show he couldn't hear anything, K leaned in closer but still had to yell.

"Don't worry! If Reiji couldn't recognize you I doubt Seguchi will be able to." He said reading Shuichi's emotions like an open book. Somehow that also got the attention of his other band mates as they turned down the music.

"No matter what your past is here, Chaos we've got your back." Sorrow said.

"Indeed, we shall support you." Mello echoed not really caring. All Rage did was give a very firm nod trying not to care.

The rest of the ride to the apartment was filled with talking and shouting over the music (which wasn't as loud as previously mentioned) creating a scene that made Shuichi forget temporarily about his past.

* * *

For the seventh time that morning Tatsuha burst into Yuki's study without warning. Honestly at least the brat let me know he was home before hand so I could prepare myself, Yuki thought trying to focus on his latest novel. Pretending not to notice his brother he continued to type away until he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand. Tatsuha was staring blankly at the back of Yuki's head. Sighing, he turned around to face his younger brother who was sitting quietly. 'This silence is even worse than the brat's yelling.'

"What is it?" he grumbled angry at himself for thinking more of Shuichi.

"Come with me to the Touching Darkness concert" Tastuha ordered more than asked.

"What! Why would I want-"

"Ryuichi is going to be introducing them so I can't go with him and everyone else is going!" Tastuha complained.

'Damn,' Yuki thought, 'if I don't go it'll just give Tohma another reason to come by for a visit.' During the past three years, Yuki had turned down several invitations to go out. The next day Tohma would show up on his doorstep to tell him every single detail from beginning to end.

"When" was all Yuki could say.

"Here's the ticket! It's in two nights so be there!" Tatsuha nearly shouted in excitement as he shoved the ticket into his brother's hands before running like a manic out of the apartment.

A concert, I haven't been to one since Shuichi left, Yuki thought staring at the ticket. It's been three years since Tohma told him to leave. Three years since his soft lips brushed mine as he walked out of that hospital room and my life, Yuki dwelled. Yuki placed the ticket on his desk after almost crushing it in anger. Damn Tohma, it was his fault Shuichi had left him, his fault that all of Japan had gone into an uproar trying desperately to find him without any luck. After that Tohma put most of his time and effort into locating the pink haired brat trying to wrong his right...without any luck.

After a year he still was nowhere to be found and NG Records had suffered greatly because of it. I suppose that's why Tohma organized this joint tour for Nittle Grasper, Twilight and XMR's band Touching Darkness, Yuki thought, to get his company back on its feet. Sighing, Yuki pulled out his lighter that held the only memories of Shuichi he owned, the silly photo they took on the one date they ever went on. It was such a stupid idea at the time yet now he wished he had taken more of his pink haired brat. A single silent tear rolled down the novelists face as he whispered the one name he wanted to hear.

"Shuichi..."

* * *

"What!" cried a small blonde hair teen.

Tohma glared back at the youth that was now part of the old band 'Bad Luck'. Hiro and Suguru sat annoyed at their lead singer. As usual he was throwing a fit when he didn't get his way. Across from them Noriko sat with her eyes closed trying to block out Daisuke's cries and Ryuichi who played with Kumagoro.

"You will either open or close for XMR's band Touching Darkness at the concert, Daisuke. There is no other option here." Tohma repeated.

"But why can't they open for us? Where the Japanese band Twilight, we're better known here then _that_ band!"

Tohma sighed, 'How many times am I going to have to explain this to him.'

"According to polls you're not." A voice called from the open doorway.

Everyone turned to see a tall blonde American standing in the doorway a gun slung over his shoulder and a slightly shorter man with brown hair wearing a black suit. Daisuke immediately screamed and hid behind Tohma's desk.

"Good evening K and Alex I presume." Tohma said surprised. Alex simply nodded. Hiro jumped up after the initial shock and ran towards K who pulled his gun out and fired a few rounds causing Daisuke to scream yet again. Hiro stopped immediately but the anger on his face couldn't be contained.

"Where is Shuichi! What did you do to him." he yelled.

"I only did what he asked and that is all. Now back to business here Tohma-"

"Where is Shindo-san K?" Tohma asked. K sighed, 'Shuichi knew this would happen but I can now tell them anything I like.'

"Shuichi wanted to leave Japan as per your desire so I helped him. Then I left him as he also desired. A singer who doesn't want to sing is useless. Now, Tohma, about our arrangement?" K said.

Surprisingly, everyone in the room already knew that Tohma had ordered Shuichi to leave Yuki, but not the country, that had been Shuichi's wish. After the inital shock had worn off and Daisuke had taken a seat as far from K as possible Tohma began to speak again.

"Yes Twilight will be opening for Touching Darkness and Nittle Grasper will be closing."

"No. That will not happen unless Chaos is satisfied by the sound of your musicians. He will decide tomorrow whether they are adequate or not by listening to them personally." Alex said.

"Alright, what time will we be expecting Chaos?" Hiro asked.

"Whenever he wakes up." K said simply before following Alex out of the door leaving everyone shocked and scared.

* * *

**YAY!!! This chapter included Yuki! Yeah well I had to bring him back in sometime not sure about everyone else though...**

**Thanks to midnight-cat and animegirl2781 for the reviews!!! I'm not entirely sure what the other band members have hidden in their pasts yet I have a small hunch about Sorrow but that's all!**

**~MidnightEmber~**


	3. Emotionless Part1

Chapter Three: Emotionless Part 1

Shuichi squinted as the morning light flooded through the open curtains of his bands new apartment. Waiting for his eyes to adjust to the light he rolled over and almost jumped out of bed as he came face to face with Sorrow. Sorrow's scruffy chocolate brown hair covered his closed green eyes as he slept...in the wrong bed. In the room Shuichi and Sorrow slept in there were two beds, two closets, two of practically everything except the bathroom so they didn't mix things up. He must have been so jetlagged last night it must have brought back past memories. Jetlag is defiantly the worst thing in the world, Shuichi thought as he silently slipped from his bed and managed to make it to the shower without tripping.

After ten minutes in the shower he felt awake enough to make it to the kitchen for breakfast. Surprisingly both Mello and Rage were awake and eating breakfast. Mello's honey brown hair was loosely tied back in a ponytail as usual so you could see his blue eyes unlike Rage whose shoulder length black hair hid his face including his brown eyes. Shuichi mumbled a good morning before grabbing a bowl and the cereal.

"How did you sleep last night?" Mello asked politely.

"Fine until I...woke up this morning and found...Sorrow asleep in my bed again." Shuichi said through mouthfuls of cereal.

"Honestly, that boy." Rage grumbled turning a page in the paper.

Sorrow liked being emotionally close to somebody, it had something to do with his past and at the current time he had latched onto Shuichi. It really didn't bother him though. He liked having someone who was attached to him. It filled the neglect and loneliness that Yuki had created in his heart and distracted him from other problems. Sorrow eventually joined them in the kitchen an hour after Shuichi had woken up. During that time, Shuichi had gotten dressed into long black pants, with a red shirt that showed beneath his long black coat. Rage and Mello different styles of clothing that showed off their names except the colour remained the same, black. Shuichi was flicking through the TV channels when K kicked the door down.

"Come on Chaos. We have to go meet with Twilight and Nittle Grasper." He said barging into the living room.

Shuichi raised an eyebrow. "Why do _I_ have to go and meet with them?"

"To see whether they song choices for tonight are appropriate or not. I'm rather surprised that you're awake this early in the morning, normally you sleep till noon."

"Forgot the curtains." Shuichi mumbled as he stood turning the TV off.

Shuichi walked into his bedroom, K following. Opening another suitcase, Shuichi found a pair of long boots that he chose to wear over the top of his black pants. Turning around, he noticed Sorrow standing by the door wearing a pair of jeans that were torn at the knees and a white shirt that could be seen underneath his black jacket. Shuichi knew what Sorrow wanted.

"Yes you can come as well."

Sorrow slipped into a pair of black leather shoes and followed K and Shuichi out of their apartment as they made their way to NG Records.

* * *

Arriving at NG Records without a glitch, Shuichi, Sorrow and K entered the building and was met by Alex. He appeared to be wearing the same suit as yesterday with a different shirt but no one decided to comment on that he could give a glare that could kill.

"Alright now that your here, follow me." Alex said turning smartly and heading towards the elevator. The elevator took them to the fourth floor where the recording studios were located. Three doors down a door was left ajar with a very angry Tohma standing in the doorway.

"Your late." He complained eyeing the two band members. 'I have a bad feeling about this.' he thought as he realized what Chaos and Sorrow were wearing.

"Actually its midday and I told you that Chaos would be here when he was ready." K said easily pushing Tohma out of the way as if he were a stuffed toy. Shuichi and Sorrow followed behind K with Alex entering last behind Tohma. Shuichi almost sighed in relief as he walked unnoticed as Chaos past Tohma. Hopefully it would stay that way with everyone.

"Here we are. Everyone this is Chaos and Sorrow of Touching Darkness." K introduced gesturing to the correct person. Everyone seemed to mumble their greeting which put Shuichi in a dark mood. 'I think it's time to live up to my name.' He thought suddenly.

"Well, what are we doing?" Sorrow asked.

Daisuke sat up proudly and handed Chaos a sheet of lyrics. Shuichi looked down at them while taking a seat next to a bouncing Ryuichi Sakuma. Sorrow peeked at the lyrics over his shoulder. Reading he noticed some of the lyrics were stolen from his old rejected ideas that were mixed with new lyrics. Frowning slightly, he realized that this person was only a replacement and a temporary one at that. 'What are they trying to do?' Shuichi thought.

"So what do you think of my brilliant lyrics?" Daisuke asked. Shuichi looked up without a smile.

"It doesn't matter how good or bad your lyrics are its how well you sing them that makes them great." Shuichi said with a cold tone. Daisuke shrank a few centimetres in his chair. Everyone was looking at Shuichi now his harsh voice and demeanour had finally hooked their attention.

"You want us to perform our songs for you?" Suguru asked.

"How else will I be able to decide whether your music suits mine?" Shuichi remarked.

Everyone looked at each other almost scared to be judged by Chaos. Well everyone except Ryuichi who was already in the room ready to sing for Chaos and Sorrow. After getting over the initial shock Daisuke jumped up and began fighting Ryuichi over who was going to sing first. 'They both act like five year olds which is normal for Ryuichi but I doubt its an act for Daisuke.' Shuichi thought. In the end Tohma got annoyed with them and told Ryuichi that Daisuke would perform first since they would sing first at the concert...hopefully. Chaos sat beside Ryuichi again with Sorrow on his other side preparing for whatever music Twilight would produce. Surprisingly, Daisuke was going to sing one of Bad Luck's previous songs instead of the lyrics he handed Shuichi. 'So they have a new name, a new lead singer but no new songs.' Shuichi almost laughed. The music started and Shuichi new immediately what song it was, Glaring Dream. Then Daisuke sang.

_The whisper that dissolves into the bustling crowd,_

_Makes the memories scattered underfoot blur together._

_The blazing of the street where I walk about lost_

_Glaring One Way_

_Illuminates me as coldly as it freezes._

_The cold times make dreams fall like rain and slip through my hands,_

_When I woke up from the countless wishes,_

_You are reflected in a shimmering illusion,_

_The silhouette whose faint smile leads me along._

"Stop" was all Shuichi could say. He was utterly disgraced at how Daisuke was singing his lyrics. When Shuichi had sung Glaring Dream his voice had always been full of emotion yet Daisuke performance on stage was simply plain and boring. 'This is pitiful.' Shuichi thought. He looked at Sorrow who had been flinching at every wrong note.

"Why'd you make me stop?!" Daisuke yelled at Chaos.

"Your style of singing was hurting Sorrow and it lacked any type of emotion. It's like you're a robot when you get up on that stage. Frankly I'm surprised that you even became a vocalist." Shuichi said in a normal voice. He knew how hard it was to take harsh criticism but surprisingly Daisuke got his emotions back and began sulking in a corner instead of trying to ask what he did wrong.

"I believe it's your turn now Ryuichi of Nittle Grasper." Sorrow said hanging onto Shuichi's sleeve.

* * *

**And then there was chapter three! Next chapter we shall see if Nittle Grasper will keep up to Shuichi's new standards...keep your fingers crossed!!!**

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**Bunnykim89**

**Animegirl2781**

**DarkMetalAngel of Destruction**

**Eli Salas**

**~MidnightEmber~**


	4. Emotionless Part2

Chapter Four: Emotionless Part 2

Ryuichi bounced around the microphone as Tohma and Noriko set up. Sorrow clung onto Shuichi afraid that the hyperactive male would attack him or swing him around like the poor bunny he clung to. As the music began, Shuichi felt Sorrow stiffen. Glancing down, Shuichi noticed that Sorrow was actually scared of Ryuichi well more likely Ryuichi personality. Shuichi looked away from Sorrow as Ryuichi began to sing.

_Tooku de me o hikarasete mezameru monotachi matte iru  
Yoru no jouheki sasowarete utsurisumu mure no nukegara ni_

_  
(Deguchi no nai) shougeki ni taeru tsumori nara  
(Kuzureru hodo) itsuwari o misete_

_  
Umarekawareru anata yo hitori hohoemanaide hitomi o irodoru  
Nozonda sekai ga totsuzen hai ni natte mo kiseki ni mada meguriaeru  
(Sotto dakishimete kowasu you ni)_

_  
Muku na mama de sarasarete hanabira o chirasu hana no you ni  
Migaku houseki te no naka no HIBI ni sae kizukihajimeteru_

_  
(Tsumetai te ga) nukeochita toge o hirou kara  
(Madoromu hi ga) kusuburitsuzukeru_

_  
Ima mo todokanu hikari no yukue azayaka ni mau omoi o egakou  
Michibiku kotoba ga koborete shimawanu you ni utsuru toki o osorenaide  
(Deguchi mo naku) (kuzureochiru)_

"That's enough" Shuichi said. The song Sleepless Beauty simply bought back too many bad memories for Shuichi to allow him to finish. Ryuichi bounced happily back to Shuichi who felt Sorrow stiffen against him, hiding from Ryuichi.

"How did I perform? Well, well, tell me please!" Ryuichi said bouncing up and down again no longer his stage persona.

"Actually I'm surprised that you have such a calm and composed persona on stage. However now that you're off stage I would like to ask you to reframe from bouncing around us as you're frightening Sorrow."

Ryuichi immediately stopped bouncing. Sorrow relaxed against Shuichi yet he didn't let go of his sleeve. Tohma walked up to Shuichi announce clearly written on his face.

"Well can we still perform with you or not?"

"If you can get Daisuke's stage persona to exist at all before tonight then I don't see a reason that you can't just make sure you stay out of our way. I don't need Sorrow to become scarred before our Japan debut."

Smirking, Shuichi stood and waited for Sorrow to stand beside him before walking calmly out of the room. K smiled at Tohma before following Alex out the door. In the elevator K leaned down to Shuichi who was still attached to Sorrow.

"Everything went according to plan. They won't even believe who you are even if you told them point blank." K whispered in Shuichi's left ear. Shuichi smiled at K. 'Yes we can pull this off easily for three months if we have to.' He thought confidently leaving the NG building that had once been so familiar to him.

* * *

Shuichi waited eagerly beside Rage as Twilight left the stage only to be ushered away from them and to their VIP seats where Shuichi suspected Tohma, Noriko and Ryuichi were also waiting. Somehow he could see the stage crew through the dimmed lights as they changed the instruments over replacing the keyboards for the drums and guitars. Looking out into the audience he remembered how famous they were already in Japan almost selling over 1 million copies to the country and more were being shipped over. Shuichi smiled as they walked confidently on stage as the audience began screaming in excitement and anticipation. Shuichi began singing as Sorrow began slowly playing the guitar.

_Now I know_

_That I can't make you stay_

_But where's your heart_

_But where's your heart_

_But where's your_

_And I know_

_There's nothing I can say_

_To change that part_

_To change that part_

_The change_

The drums suddenly kicked into life along with the bass guitar joining the vocals and the guitar as the song began. Screams echoed around Shuichi as he sang, enjoying playing once again on a Japanese stage in front of people who spoke his first language.

_So many_

_Bright lights they cast a shadow_

_But can I speak_

_Is it hard understanding I'm incomplete_

_A life that's so demanding_

_I get so weak_

_A love that's so demanding_

_I can't speak_

_I am not afraid to keep on living_

_I am not afraid to walk alone_

_Honey if you stay I'll be forgiven_

_Nothing you can say can stop me going home_

_Can you see?_

_My eyes are shining bright_

'_Cause I'm out here on the other side_

_Of a jet black hotel mirror_

_And I'm so weak_

_Is it hard understanding I'm incomplete_

_A love that's' so demanding_

_I get weak_

Shuichi glanced up into the VIP section to see the reaction of Twilight and Nittle Grasper as they heard the lyrics spilling from his mouth. They were all there including an outrageously dressed Tatsuha and a stoic Yuki. Shuichi had to breathe deeply so he could calm down enough to sing the chorus.

_I am not afraid to keep on living_

_I am not afraid to walk alone_

_Honey if you stay I'll be forgiven_

_Nothing you can say can stop me going home_

_These bright lights have always blinded me_

_These bright lights have always blinded me_

_I said_

_I see you lying next to me_

_With words I thought I'd never speak_

_Awake and unafraid_

_Asleep or dead_

Yuki didn't recognize Shuichi underneath all of the black clothing and hair. Nor did Shuichi expect him to realize who it was. He looked up at Yuki and noticed that he wasn't really paying attention to anything around him even thought Tatsuha was jumping around like a ball following Ryuichi while everyone else was either talking or bopping to the music. 'He's only trying to block out the music so that he doesn't have to pay attention to anything around him.' Shuichi thought

_I am not afraid to keep on living_

_I am not afraid to walk alone_

_Honey if you stay I'll be forgiven_

_Nothing you can say can stop me going home_

The crowd cheered as the last notes were played. Shuichi smiled at the enthusiastic crowd.

"Alright, I think it's time for introductions. On drums we have Rage! To my left on bass guitar we have Mello and to my right on electric guitar is Sorrow. And I'm Chaos lead singer! Together we make up the band known as Touching Darkness! Now let's get into another song!" Shuichi shouted into his microphone so he could be heard over the amazingly noisy crowd. Another cheer erupted as they began to play again.

* * *

Yuki stared uninterested as the next song began. The lead singer, Chaos, was already pouring his heart into the lyrics that he wrote and turning them into something worth listening to exactly like Shuichi used to do. Thinking of Shuichi made Yuki's spirit fall even when he was surrounded by hundreds screaming Touching Darkness fans. Yuki continued to stare down at the lead singer allowing his voice to carry him away from his memories that is until Yuki looked carefully into Chaos's sparkling violet eyes that for one moment held his gaze firmly. In that one moment Yuki was positive that he had just stared into the face of his former lover.

* * *

**Hiya everyone another chapter done! Finally I thought I'd lost my inspiration for it *cries* but no it is still there! The songs are Sleepless Beauty by Nittle Grasper (even though I wanted to use Angel Dust) and Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance...i'm not sure why I chose that song but if you have a song you want in here then feel free to tell me what that song is!**

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**DarkMetalAngel of Destruction, ****RiverSakima, animegirl2781, ashleekiryu, sonata hirano **

**~MidnightEmber~**


	5. Interview

Chapter Five: Interview

Shuichi swore he could still hear the screams from the crowd last night in his head as he woke up the following morning. Rolling over he found Sorrow sleeping next to him for the second night in a row. Suppressing a sigh, Shuichi rolled back over trying to fall asleep again. Touching Darkness had an interview at two o'clock on a TV program called Music Hits with Twilight and Nittle Grasper. He defiantly wasn't looking forward to waking up for that however the weekend was after that which meant that they could do anything they liked as long as it wasn't scandalous otherwise K would have them under lock and key for the following month and none of the band wanted that.

Shuichi gasped as Sorrow managed to slither his arms around Shuichi's waist and pull him closer snuggling against his small form like a child holding a bear. Somehow Sorrow was still asleep which Shuichi couldn't explain. Not wanting to disturb Sorrow, Shuichi decided to try falling asleep again but didn't feel tired. Feeling Sorrow's breath on the back of his neck made him shiver with a natural reflex. It was then that Shuichi realized that Sorrow was actually awake and still holding onto him.

Rolling over as gently as he could, Shuichi came face to face with Sorrow who was wide awake like he had guessed. Even in the small amount of light in the room, he could see Sorrow blushing deeply as the contact between them became closer. Shuichi felt Sorrow's lips gently press against his in a passionate yet soft kiss which left him breathless regardless. Sorrow smiled at Shuichi secretively as he allowed Shuichi to wrap his arms around him pulling them even closer together. He could feel himself blushing deeply but at the same time happiness coursed through his veins. Making Shuichi feel revealed that he hadn't lost the emotion of love that he held locked dearly in his heart.

"Hurry up you two or we'll be late for the interview." Rage shouted. In that one sentence the feeling in the room dropped. Sighing, Shuichi pulled himself from the silently protesting Sorrow as he tripped into the bathroom preparing from the interview. Today wasn't going to be fun for Shuichi Shindo.

* * *

Shuichi sat next to Sorrow (who gripped onto his waist tightly) and Mello while Rage sat on the other side of Mello all on a single couch. Nittle Grasper sat to the left of them on a single couch with Twilight on the other side of them. The host, a lady named, Suzuka Takahashi, sat eagerly at her desk closest to Rage who was furious being close to such a joyous person.

"Welcome we are here with American band Touching Darkness and our very own Nittle Grasper and Twilight." The live audience applauded while Shuichi's headache seemed to thud dully behind his eyes as he waited for the aspirin to work.

"Alright we're going to begin with asking questions from the audience. First question goes to Touching Darkness. You all seem to have stage names, we were wondering why you don't use your given names?" the host asked curiously.

"I'll answer that. We don't use our given names on stage because we don't use them off stage either. We only know each other through our stage names we don't know anything else about each other, other than what is in the present and the future." Shuichi said taking them all by surprise.

"What about your past lives and the people in them?"

"For one reason or another we all left or past lives with painful experiences in them. We gave those lives up when we took our stage names." Mello said answering Tohma's question. The audience was utterly surprised with this news yet they managed to remain calm and continue to listen eagerly for more information.

"Can we ask about those lives?" the host asked curiously disregarding the next card.

"No we don't discuss our past lives with anyone." Sorrow said.

"Alright I think that we should move along to our next question which is directed to Choas and Sorrow. The audience is wondering about the bond between you."

Sorrow looked down at Shuichi who blushed lightly but not enough to give anything away. "We both like to feel close to someone for one reason or another and it makes it easier if its within the band since we don't like to hook up with random girls in our private time." Shuichi said simply.

"Ok, well next question is directed towards Daiskue from Twilight. How does it feel to know that you are only a replacement to the once great Shuichi Shindo?" Suzuka asked. The entire set went quiet as everyone stared at the singer with fear of the outcome.

"Well I'm sure we can pull past this Shindo business and forget him completly." Daisuke said confidently.

"WHAT! No one can replace Shu-chan so easily! He sparkled on stage like Chaos and I, you don't sparkle." Ryuichi shouted at the small boy now in his child form. Shuichi smiled leaning in towards Sorrow as Hiro and Suguru began to back up Ryuichi with the host forgotten.

"HEY! WOULD YOU IDIOTS GET IT TOGETHER WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ANSWERING QUESTIONS!" Rage shouted after five minutes of their arguing finally making them all quiet. Shuichi still leaning against Sorrow looked up to see them all staring silently at them.

"What? I'm not going to make him apologize when you were arguing on live television over something that happened three years ago. You may continue please, Suzuka-san" Shuichi said. Suzuka began the next few questions a little uneasily preying that Twilight and Nittle Grasper wouldn't get into another fight. Tohma on the other hand was staring directly at Chaos who was staring back as if trying to convey all the hatred in the world upon him. 'That couldn't be Shuichi Shindo...could it?' Tohma thought ignoring everything around him. The interview went for another ten minutes until the final question was asked.

"Final question is for Chaos. Would you sing one of either Twilight or Nittle Grasper's songs?" The host asked almost excited.

"No." Shuichi answered immediately. This shook everyone slightly.

"Well we don't mind if you don't sing it properly you could even sing along with Ryuichi or Daisuke." The host suggested.

"This topic is not up for negotiation." Shuichi said glaring.

"But...but...what if..." Suzuka was immediately silenced as Rage stood, towering over her.

"I believe this interview is now over." Sorrow said smiling. Shuichi stood followed by his band members as they left the set in silence. Tohma smiled his suspicions now beginning to make sense. 'If that was indeed Shuichi Shindo, if he had sung one of their songs his voice would have sounded similar to Ryuichi's giving away his identity at the same time.'

"Shuichi Shindo, I think I might have found you." Tohma whispered to himself already dialing the one number he knew he had to call.

* * *

Yuki heard the phone ringing in the background as he tried to work on his latest novel unsuccessfully. He still couldn't get that guy, Chaos, out of his head which was disturbing his work. Those shining violet eyes reminding him so much of Shuichi even if the music didn't. But what emotion was hidden behind that stare that he had given Yuki during their performance last night? Was it...longing or...love? Whoever Chaos was he defiantly knew something about Shuichi, Yuki decided. Slowly he made his way into the room and picked up the phone.

"What" he grumbled into the phone knowing immediately it would be Tohma.

"I think I found Shuichi." Tohma said excitedly into the phone. Now he could make up for the suffering he had caused Eiri over the past few years.

"What! Where is he?"

"I'm not positive on this. It's just a suspicion but I think that Chaos from Touching Darkness is Shuichi Shindo."

"What makes you say that?" I had the same thought. Yuki's mind was tumbling around with this news.

"Well during the interview today he told the host that none of them talked about their past lives. But that's not all when Ryuichi and Daisuke began fighting over Shuichi's part in Bad Luck and his drummer Rage told them to stop, he said that he wasn't going to make him apologize for something that happened three years ago. Also he refused point blank to sing one of Nittle Grasper's or Twilight's songs at the end of the interview."

"Wait, he knew about something when he supposedly wasn't in the country?" Yuki asked.

"Yes. I'm going to see him tomorrow since they aren't scheduled to do anything."

"Does anyone else know about this?"

"No, no one else knows. So do you want to accompany me?" Tohma asked.

"Do you even have to ask?" Yuki said hanging up on Tohma. Smiling, Yuki fell upon the couch letting the phone crash to the floor as he dropped it. 'Shuichi I will find you. Then you and Tohma will pay for leaving my life so suddenly.' He thought, finally moving past his writers block. Yuki stood, moving towards his laptop. Tomorrow would defiantly be a great day.

* * *

**Hiya people...yes I finished another chapter! Actually I simply was in the mood to write Gravitation so here it is! Yay! I'm not saying what will happen in the next chapter but I have started it...hehe **

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**EmoLollipop, Kiduku Desire, DStar5, bunnykim89, sonata hirano, RiverSakima, coolgamer**

**You guys are the best!!! XD**

**~MidnightEmber~**


	6. Horror of Meeting

Chapter Six: Horror of Meeting

Shuichi felt something collide with his head as he relaxed on the couch huddled beneath a blanket beside Sorrow while watching TV. Looking up he realized it was a pillow thrown by Rage as he stormed to the front door. Turning his attention away from the current horror movie, Shuichi glared at Rage.

"What is your problem I'm just watching TV!" Shuichi yelled at Rage.

"The door bell has been ringing for five minutes! And you couldn't be bothered to get up and answer it!" Rage had been asleep when the door bell had started to ring.

"Well I figured if it were K or Alex they wouldn't bother with the bell and just walk straight in so obviously it isn't them and I'm not interested in talking to anyone else." Shuichi said turning his attention back towards the TV, jumping slightly as a loud bang came through the speakers.

Rage grumbled his complaint under his breath before forcefully pulling open the door to their apartment. "What!?" he shouted at his guests without even looking at them.

Two people stood in the doorway. One had golden hair and eyes and almost a permanent glare while facing Rage. The other person Rage recognized as Tohma Seguchi, a member of Nittle Grasper. Leaning against the doorway bored he looked at Seguchi waiting for an answer.

"Well we were hoping to talk to Chaos if he's currently here." Tohma said recovering from the shock of Rage's yell.

"So who is he?" Rage said eyes shifting from Tohma to Yuki.

"He's my brother-in-law, the famous novelist Eiri Yuki." Tohma introduced.

Rage was about to say something when a familiar girlish scream echoed to the front door as the sound of a chainsaw began. Tohma and Yuki stood in the doorway eyes bulging out of their sockets while Rage laughed knowing that Chaos hated to watch horror movies but was forced by Sorrow who loved them. (No matter how hard Shuichi had tried to change there were some things that couldn't be forgotten.) Rage turned back to the guests standing outside his door.

"Don't worry it may sound real but it's a movie Sorrow rented and is forcing Chaos to watch. No why did you come here without K or Alex's knowledge?"

"What makes you say that?" Tohma enquired.

"Normally when people come to visit either one of them are present so you can call them and then come-"

"Rage just let them in. It's a hassle to stand talking in the doorway." Mello said appearing out of nowhere.

Hesitantly, Rage let them in and followed them to the lounge room where he found Sorrow sitting on the couch quite comfortably while Chaos was huddled into a ball under a blanket with only his eyes peaking through the folds. Mello went and sat beside Chaos knowing that if Rage were to sit beside him he'd only frighten Chaos more. Rage sat on the floor while Tohma and Yuki sat on the other couch facing inwards at the band members. Shuichi could tell that they were both staring at him and that they knew who he was but decided to remain where he was hidden under a blanket until the end of the movie.

"Could we talk to Chaos alone?" Tohma asked as someone was cut in half dramatically.

None of the members made any move to leave or to answer Tohma instead keeping their eyes on the movie. After a particularly gruesome scene in the movie Mello turned unaffected by it to Yuki and Tohma.

"We never talk with others alone especially if we know their pasts remain in this city."

"You know that Chaos once lived in Japan?" Tohma enquired.

"Yes, that way we are extra careful while we are there. We all know the countries from where we originally came from but not why or how." Sorrow said keeping his eyes on the TV.

Silence met this answer. Tohma and Yuki had no clue as of what to ask next since Touching Darkness were very secretive and only repeated information constantly.

"Chaos, I know about your past and I want to help you with it." Yuki said confidently, golden eyes desperately searching for a reaction from Chaos.

The band members continued to stare at the TV however Chaos's eyes shifted to look directly into Yuki's not giving any emotion at all. Yuki knew that those eyes belonged to his brat he was simply finding it tough to prove it. Suddenly a loud scream erupted from the speakers and once again Chaos' eyes shut trying to block out all of the sound. 'That is defiantly Shuichi,' Yuki thought smiling at the bundle beneath the blanket, only he would try sitting through a movie like this knowing he's scared. A shadow disrupted his concentration as K came into view from the hallway.

"You two shouldn't be here. Do you know how many people visit them claiming to have known them and willing to help them out?" He said carrying his favourite gun and shaking his head sadly. "Chaos can show you out since he's scared out of his wits."

Yuki and Tohma stood as Chaos led them to the door still wrapped in his blanket. Silence hung heavy between them as he opened the door and watched as Yuki and Tohma left their apartment. As they began to walk to the elevator they heard a voice call back to them.

"I'm glad that you're alright, Yuki." The voice had such tenderness and love in it that Yuki knew that Shuichi had said it. Yuki turned back to see the band member known as Chaos staring back at him, his head poking through the fold at the top of the blanket. Chaos's purple eyes were identical to his brat's, a small smile playing across his pale skin as he slowly closed the door.

"Why would he say something like that Tohma? He didn't even visit me the last time he was here" Yuki enquired. Tohma paled, now the truth would be exposed. Breathing calmly, Tohma began repeating what occurred between them three years ago.

"He came to visit you in the hospital, three years ago. You were asleep and I knew that his attitude was making you sick so I told him that he should leave because it would make you better. He resigned the next morning and left Japan with K. I didn't hear anything from them since. But you kept getting worse and I realized that he wasn't making you sick at all. I hated myself for so long thinking that I had pushed him out of your life so I began to search for him at your request." Tohma's confession was met by silence in the elevator.

As the elevator reached the ground floor, Yuki turned to Tohma his face a complete mask as they stepped out of the elevator and left the building. Once out in the fresh air Yuki spoke.

"Tohma, you were the one making me sick trying to keep him away from me. You will pay for driving him away and he will pay for listening to a thick head like you instead of me." Yuki said glaring as he left for his apartment leaving Tohma standing alone on the street.

* * *

**Yay another chapter! Now Tohma and Yuki know that Chaos is Shuichi and why he left! I'm going to have to do a confrontation soon between Yuki and Shuichi...alone... XD**

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**RiverSakima, EmoLollipop, sonata hirano, Kiduku Desire, PissyNovelist, animegirl2781**

**p.s. i believe that the last time i posted i managed to forget to add people to my thanks list, sorry if i did! *cries***

**~MidnightEmber~**


	7. Still Love You

Chapter Seven: Still need you...

The music slowly filled Shuichi as his band members began playing. It had been a full three days since he had seen Yuki yet he still felt empty knowing that he could cause Yuki to be hospitalized especially after their meeting. It had been difficult trying not to care for him as he sat only a few feet away but Tohma had also been there so he tried instead to focus on the movie which hadn't been the best of ideas. Even after three days he was still having nightmares about chainsaws and running from madmen. The live audience of the TV show were impatient but dead silent as Shuichi began to sing for them.

_Please, please forgive me_

_But I won't be home again_

_Maybe someday you'll look up_

_And barely conscious, you'll say to no one_

_Isn't something missing?_

_You won't cry for my absence, I know_

_You forgot me long ago_

_Am I that unimportant?_

_Am I so insignificant?_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

_Even though I'm the sacrifice_

_You won't try for me, not now_

_Though I'd die to know you love me_

_I'm all alone_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

Shuichi didn't even know why he agreed to perform today especially when he felt so down though he believed that it had something to do with the mask he wore every time he performed or even went out on public. He never acted like the goofball that Yuki and Bad Luck knew anymore. He gave that all away the moment he became Chaos instead choosing a more relaxed, cool vocalist as his persona. But just singing the song he had first written after he left Yuki was beginning to make him feel nostalgic.

_Please, please forgive me_

_But I won't be home again_

_I know what you do to yourself_

_I breathe deep and cry out_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't someone missing me?_

_Even though I'm the sacrifice_

_You won't try for me, not now_

_Though I'd die to know you love me_

_I'm all alone_

_Isn't someone missing me? _

The only reason he was even singing this song was because it had been a request from the audience. They had desired to hear the first song he had ever written after he became Chaos. Of course this song had been about his feelings for Yuki after he had left yet they didn't know that. Everyone wondering who they were hadn't worn off since their first interview and it was beginning to take its toll on Rage who seemed even more aggressive than usual. However Mello and Sorrow were doing alright since they didn't care much about anything outside of the Touching Darkness.

_And if I bleed, I'll bleed_

_Knowing you don't care _

_And if I sleep just to dream of you_

_I'll wake without you there_

_Isn't something missing?_

_Isn't something..._

_Even though I'm the sacrifice_

_You won't try for me, not now_

_Though I'd die to know you love me_

_I'm all alone_

_Isn't something missing? _

_Isn't someone missing me?_

Shuichi could feel his old emotions for the novelist beginning to resurface simply by singing this song in Tokyo where Yuki was more likely to hear it. At least Bad Luck hadn't accompanied with them during this interview. The audience erupted in applause as the song finally ended. Touching Darkness said farewell to the host and the audience before leaving the stage as another guests walked on. K ushered them off to their black limo that was waiting for them patiently by the back door.

Instead of following his band mates back to their shared apartment, Shuichi had convinced K to allow him time to himself as long as he wore a disguise and didn't reveal himself to anyone. Following the direction his feet took him, Shuichi walked about Tokyo aimlessly trying to clear his head before he returned to Sorrow, Mello and Rage. Finally stopping Shuichi looked around himself as the lights flickered on illuminating the foot path that he was following. Sighing, he took a seat on a bench in the park he usually ran to when they had a fight, the park where they had first met.

Without removing his disguise of a simple hat and a pair of sunglasses, he watched as the few people that walked past him hurried to return home. He once knew that feeling when he was with Yuki. Every day he would rush home directly from NG to be with Yuki however quite often he was busy with his novels which meant that Shuichi had spent the nights alone instead of with the one person he had desired. He had been happy then, not that he wasn't happy with his current lifestlye it was just more complicated. Sighing he closed his eyes trying to suppress the memories.

After half an hour or what he thought was half an hour, Shuichi felt someone stop by the bench and sit down beside him. Deciding to remain where he was regardless of whether he was in any danger or not he opened his eyes to the night sky. For a few minutes they sat simply in silence enjoying the quiet company that each had to offer.

"I know it's you beneath that disguise...Shuichi." the man said suddenly.

Shuichi looked into the face of Eiri Yuki behind his glasses. That's just what I need know, Shuichi thought. Yuki continued to stare at him even though Shuichi hadn't uttered a word.

"Shuichi, why won't you just talk to me? I already know about the deal you made with Tohma. You don't have to worry I-"

"Please, Yuki, I only came here to think." Shuichi said calmly, without turning to him. If I let him get close to me again he'll only end up back in the hospital, he thought sadly.

Yuki listened to what Shuichi said and sat there waiting until he was ready to talk to him. With every growing second he could feel his anger rising again like it often did in the past when Shuichi was around him. Except this time it was out of impatience in waiting for Shuichi to talk and not waiting for him to be silent so he could continue his work. Yuki smiled as fond memories, the only he had returned to him as he sat beside his ex-lover.

"I don't read your books but K told me that you actually referred to me in a dedication." Shuichi finally said not sure of what to say.

Yuki looked at Shuichi who had taken off his glasses and was looking up at the night sky, eyes gleaming with joy. They joy that Yuki could see in Shuichi's eyes reminded him of the past when he would bounce around unlike Chaos. He was about to say something when he heard the undeniable ring tone from Shuichi's phone.

"Hello?" Shuichi said picking up his phone.

"Where are you? You've been gone for five hours and Sorrow has gone into a fit since you're not back yet!" Rage yelled through the phone. Shuichi had no doubt that Yuk had heard every word spoken since he had to pull the phone away from his ear. Shuichi sighed to himself as Rage continued to rant. He could feel Yuki's anger about the situation rise which wasn't good for his health. Suddenly, he heard Rage's voice muffled as the phone was pulled away from him and another spoke.

"Chaos...come home soon...I'm lonely without you here." Sorrow said desperation clearly in his voice.

"I'll be home soon." Shuichi promised ending the call.

Turning to Yuki, he smiled politely replacing his sun glasses even though it was now pitch black outside. Yuki noticed that the gleam in is eyes was still present. Without even saying good bye he began to walk away.

"Shuichi, I still need you" Yuki said as Shuichi walked past him.

Shuichi looked back at the novelist. "Need is different from love." Shuichi didn't look back again.

* * *

**Sorry it took so long to update...Honestly, I didn't plan for this chapter to be so long but oh well...that's how it is. The song is Missing by Evanescence I heard it and felt that it worked really well with Shuichi's feelings at the moment anywho... **

**Poll People...Who should Shuichi end up with?**

**1- Eiri Yuki**

**2- Sorrow**

**3- Hiro**

**4- Ryuichi**

**5- Tohma (by some odd twist of fate)**

**Vote by review! I shall go by majority of votes and that's how the story shall turn...**

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**animegirl2781, RiverSakima, bunnykim89, sonata hirano, EmoLollipop, Yana5, ZexionVI 008, Island Honey, edenforest1**

**~MidnightEmber~**


	8. Past, Present and Future

Chapter Eight: Past, Present and Future

The following day Sorrow was extra clingy to Shuichi. He couldn't go anywhere without him on his arm or attached to his waist and it was entirely his fault. If he hadn't been so wrapped up in his past after the live performance he wouldn't have spaced out and returned late that night after talking with Yuki. Now he was seated in Bad Luck's room in NG with Sorrow practically pulling Shuichi onto his lap. They were only there to give pointers on how to make Bad Luck more professional however with the events occurring it seems that they would also have to play for them. No matter how much Daisuke tried he simply couldn't help but look robotic on stage.

"Chaos, how was that?" Daisuke asked after singing yet another song.

"It's still needs more work. You're too robotic. Relax on stage and sway to the music you create." Shuichi told him. "Here let us show you." He continued finally volunteering a performance. As Sorrow stood, Shuichi was dragged to his feet but instead of going towards the instruments he pulled Shuichi to the door.

"I don't want to play today." He said leaving the room with Shuichi. Behind him he heard a quick apology from Mello as Rage and he followed them to the elevator.

"Sorrow we can't just leave we have to fulfil our duties by the contract as Touching Darkness." Shuichi explained however Sorrow wasn't listening anymore.

"This is your fault." Mello said watching as Shuichi glanced back.

"Yeah, I know, you don't have to keep telling me."

Last night had been utter mayhem. After he had seen Yuki in the park he had returned to Touching Darkness' apartment since Sorrow was distraught over Shuichi being late. Once he had returned Sorrow had picked him up and carried him to bed holding him close the entire night. It had been difficult to sleep but he had managed it somehow. Shuichi knew a little of Sorrow's past enough to know that the one person that Sorrow had ever loved had betrayed him and left him alone in their shared apartment for a month before calling to tell him that it was over and he wasn't coming to collect his belongings. Now every time that Shuichi was distant to Sorrow he became extra clingy.

Shuichi blamed himself for Sorrow's current behaviour. He shouldn't have been distracted by Yuki. Yuki was the past and Shuichi realized that. To Sorrow, Shuichi was more than a friend, he could tell that much however Shuichi was no longer sure who his heart desired. His heart was split in two along with his past and his present and yet either could be his future.

This day couldn't possibly get any worse, Shuichi thought. Then the elevator doors opened to reveal Yuki. Without even considering the other person already in the elevator Sorrow dragged Shuichi in turning around as he pressed the button for the ground floor. Mello and Rage were standing on either side of Sorrow while Shuichi was caught in a hug pulling him closer to Sorrow. Wriggling in Sorrow's grip, Shuichi turned to look apologetically at Yuki who was trying to keep is anger under wraps in fear of releasing the identity of Chaos to his other band members.

Shuichi could see how hard Yuki was trying to withhold his anger towards the current situation. His heart began to race within his chest whether towards Sorrow holding he so closely or at Yuki's patience he couldn't tell. Then Shuichi realized that Yuki's condition could become worse and decided to turn away, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. When the elevator doors opened on the ground level, Shuichi didn't even get a last glance at Yuki before Sorrow dragged him out and into the already waiting limo with Rage and Mello close behind. In the limo, Sorrow was next to Shuichi practically holding him like a small child with a teddy bear. Shuichi encouraged Sorrow's behaviour by leaning his head against his shoulder knowing that it would calm him even if for only a few hours however it also helped to comfort his own feelings.

If he chose Yuki, he would risk his health continuously just by allowing himself to be near his ex-lover. If he chose Sorrow, his hear would ache for a time before returning to normal. But could Shuichi ever be truly happy with either Yuki or Sorrow?

* * *

Yuki allowed the elevator to drop to the ground floor even though he desired to visit Tohma's office located on the top floor however this meant that he spent more time in Shuichi's presence. Watching as Shuichi moved uncomfortably in Sorrow's grip he realized that his anger had raised again yet he didn't feel the need to release it yet. Whether it was due to Shuichi's hidden identity or just the fact that Shuichi was nearby, he didn't really care. Sorrow then dragged Shuichi away from him yet again and Yuki was left alone. Yuki finally pressed the button to the top floor and waited for the doors to close.

"What can I do for you Eiri?" Tohma asked cautiously as Yuki barged into the room.

"Your payment, I want your payment for your mistake now."

Tohma sat in his chair unable to make sense of what was happening and what payment Eiri was asking for. Before he could ask Yuki cut in.

"I want you to help me get closer to Shuichi through his band."

"Th-that's all you want me to do?" Tohma stuttered.

Yuki stopped to think for a second and took a menacing step forward. "Once I get Shuichi back, you will support our relationship regardless of what you think." He ordered. Tohma nodded giving in to his brother-in-laws demands. Smiling, Yuki left ready to take back the brat he cared for deeply.

* * *

**It's weird but I am in a Shu/Tohma mood after I read a fanfic called Ice it was so cute but don't worry I shan't make it that pairing, I shall write a one-shot when I have time! Alright so if you hadn't noticed this was a filler chapter...*cries*...I hate writing them but they are important! This was about Sorrow's past and Shuichi's feelings for Sorrow and Yuki.**

**Alright serious now. I shall begin writing the next chapter with the chosen pairing so if you still want a say in the final result by all means tell me because the results shall be affected by my final decision on your thoughts of the pairings!!!**

***Poll closing 28/04/09***

**At the moment Yuki and Sorrow are the favs to be with Shu**

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**secret hidden within me, animegirl2781, Lia Tsuka, EmoLollipop, bunnykim89, taste the rainbow eat crayons, Yana5, RiverSakima, sonata hirano, Kiduku Desire, KyoHana, mystakenidentity, blackhaven16, edenforest1, PissyNovelist, Island Honey**

***hope I didn't forget anyone***

**~MidnightEmber~**


	9. Amusement

Chapter Nine: Amusement

Shuichi looked up at the rides that surrounded him. Today they had been given the day off by K and Alex and decided as a group that they were going to an amusement park. Everyone had their sunglasses on to protect their identities however their clothes made them stick out in the crowd anyway. In the past this had been one of his favourite places and simply being there brought back memories yet he didn't show any of this on his face in fear of setting Sorrow into another of his clingy moods.

"So Chaos what do you want to do first?" Sorrow asked.

Shuichi looked up at Sorrow with a smile pointing towards the rollercoaster. Sorrow and Shuichi gladly lined up however they had to drag both Mello and Rage with them. Since the lines were all short they rode it twice again with joy. Then Mello decided he wanted to walk through the Hall of Mirrors. Again they had to drag Rage with them as the mirrors changed their shapes due to the curves in the mirrors. Shuichi laughed as Rage walked past one that showed him to have a wide body and small head then screamed as rage began to chase him.

"Rage, try not to kill him!" Shuichi heard Sorrow shout behind him.

Once outside they allowed Rage to test his strength and release some of his pent up rage. The bell rang and Rage was rewarded with a giant stuffed animal which he gave to Mello who Shuichi suspected were dating yet couldn't find any proof of it. Shuichi hadn't had this much fun in ages however it was long off the joy he had when he was with Yuki. Thinking of the past made him hurt all over again yet he continued to hide it for the sake of his band members.

Half way through the day, Shuichi grew tired and told them that he was going to get a drink. Truly he was only tired from trying to keep his emotions hidden from them and needed a break. He knew Sorrow would suggest going along with him however he turned and left before he could answer. Half way to the cafe he was pulled into an alley between buildings and was pressed against the wall. Darkness surrounded him and the other person. Slowly his eyes adjusted to reveal a tall male with golden hair and eyes.

"What do you want Yuki?" Shuichi growled in frustration. This was the last thing he needed when he was trying to suppress his feelings.

Yuki simply pulled Shuichi into a hug waiting patiently for Shuichi's reaction. Shuichi couldn't help but remember ever day that he had spent with Yuki. He remembered the passion and love that had filled his every being when Yuki had spent time with him even if it had only been one-sided. Every emotion he had felt for Yuki resurfaced after so long of suppression. Slowly, his arms reacted and held Yuki tightly back. After awhile he felt Yuki's hand cup his chin to force him to look into his eyes. Shuichi recognized his eyes yet they were different. Sure they were the same golden colour that he had fallen in love with yet they no longer held a cruel coldness. They were soft and filled with love and emotion.

"I want to tell you everything. Please, allow me to this time."

Shuichi nodded and allowed Yuki to lead him to an outdoor cafe. Yuki ordered a black coffee while Shuichi ordered strawberry milk. Some things never change, Yuki thought smiling.

"I know the reason why you left me, Shuichi. Tohma didn't have any excuse to tell you to leave especially when I was unconscious."

Shuichi sat there with his eyes on his milk. Just get his over with, Shuichi thought, then you can go back to forgetting him and he can go back to being healthy.

"Shuichi I never wanted you to leave." Yuki's voice was defiant as Shuichi looked up shocked.

"But Tohma said that I was the one causing your illness. If you wanted me there why did you get sick?" Shuichi said quickly.

"I was stressed over the fact that Tohma continued to intervene with our relationship. It was Tohma's fault that I continuously got sick not yours." Shuichi sat there taking in the information.

_Then why did I leave? I could have helped Yuki get better if I had stayed and defied Tohma like I always did_. Thoughts continued to swell through Shuichi's head as he tightened his grip on his glass. A hand gently took Shuichi's away from his glass and into his own. Shuichi looked into Yuki's golden eyes.

"Shuichi it took you to leave to realize how much I needed you by my side. Please come back to me. I love you, Shuichi." Yuki whispered the last part so that other passersby couldn't hear.

Shuichi could feel tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Thankfully he hadn't taken his sunglasses off so Yuki couldn't possibly see them. Shuichi remembered every single moment he had spent with Yuki and the happiness overwhelmed him. I want to feel that way again, he thought, I'm sorry Sorrow but I want to be able to feel true happiness again. I want Yuki to love me and I want to love him back.

"I love you Yuki. I always have and I always will." He said, tears finally spilling down his face.

Yuki smiled as he wiped the tears away. Shuichi laughed at the kind gesture not use to the expression on Yuki's face however it was more welcome than the scowl.

"You silly brat." Yuki said with warmth.

Shuichi smiled at Yuki knowing that his nickname would always be there to stay.

"But what about Tohma? Won't he try to stop us again?" Shuichi asked saddened.

"Shuichi you don't have to worry about Tohma. He won't trouble us again about our relationship. He's already payed for his mistake. Now there is only your payment left." Yuki said smiling softly.

"What payment?"

"The payment for believing that idiot and leaving."

"Oh, how would you like your payment?"

Yuki's eyes sparkled and Shuichi knew exactly what he wanted. Shuichi smiled and took off his sunglasses with one hand leaving Yuki to hold the other finally allowing Yuki to look into his shining purple eyes. Yuki let go of his hand and cupped his face pulling him closer. He blushed at the sudden contact in a public area yet allowed Yuki to continue knowing what he wanted and yearned for it as much as the other. Shuichi closed his eyes as he felt Yuki's lips press softly yet passionately against his and knew that he had chosen correctly. This was where he belonged in the arms of his lover.

* * *

Deciding that Chaos had taken too long, Sorrow had told the others that he would look for him and bring him back. Little did he realize, Chaos was actually with someone that obviously knew him well. Sorrow watched as Chaos sat in the cafe with the stranger. He noticed the warm smile Shuichi had when with him that reflected how much this person actually meant to him. Not once had Chaos ever shown a smile similar to that to anyone including him. Jealousy coursed through Sorrow's veins as images of his past experiences with his ex-lover flashed through his mind. Sorrow was determined never to let his lover leave him again.

"I shall not let you have Shuichi, Eiri Yuki, not again." He growled menacingly as he turned to leave the shadows engulfing him.

* * *

**Alright I have decided to make it Yuki/Shu. Sorrow knew about Shuichi's identity the entire time and know his kind of really gone crazy...which is kind of creepy but oh well he only wants to protect Shuichi and himself...****There shall be twists and turns as they get closer and who shall end up with Sorrow? Well you shall just have to wait and see!!! Hehe**

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**Islandeyes, RiverSakima, DarkGenesis, shuichi-koi, EmoLollipop, secret hidden within me, Yana5, mystakenidentity, animegirl2781, sonata hirano, Kiduku Desire**

**~MidnightEmber~**


	10. Planning

Chapter Ten: Planning

Once again they were at NG studios listening to Twilight performing. Shuichi however was miles away stuck in deep thought about Yuki. He wanted nothing more than to bounce around the room ecstatic that Yuki loved him and that Tohma had been the one to sabotage their relationship however currently he was Chaos vocalist of Touching Darkness who was calm and collected and the total opposite of what he currently felt. Shuichi watched as his band members mingled with Twilight.

Sorrow was with Hiro as they discussed guitars. He had calmed down quite a bit since Shuichi's late night out which was a relief. He couldn't handle being around Sorrow all day and night especially since it reminded himself of how he acted around Yuki. Mello was talking calmly with Suguru and Rage was annoying Daisuke. K was on the other side of the room cleaning his gun. Shuichi sat alone enjoying the time he had to himself before they returned to the apartment and Sorrow began smothering him again. Shuichi heard the door open and figured it was simply Alex entering to check on their progress and didn't bother turning around until Hiro looked up.

"Seguchi-san! What are you doing here?"

"Can't I check on my bands progress?"

Shuichi looked up into the face of Tohma Seguchi who stood slightly behind him. K scowled at him warning the president to stay away from Shuichi however he completely ignored it by placing a hand gently upon his right shoulder, smiling down at the helpless star.

"Chaos, if you're not too busy at the moment perhaps I could give you a personal tour of our studios?" Tohma asked.

"Of course, I'm actually very interested in the facility you have here." Shuichi answered with a fake smile.

Shuichi stood, well aware of the shock on K's face and the glare upon Sorrow's face towards Tohma. He defiantly was going to be in trouble with Sorrow later on tonight especially since he had now left Sorrow twice without allowing him to follow. Without speaking one word they went directly towards Tohma's office and closed the doors for privacy.

"Well I'm glad that you are still willing to talk to me after our last...encounter."

"I wouldn't be talking to you at all if Yuki hadn't explained everything yesterday. I'm also curious as to why you would even desire to talk to me."

"I would like to apologize to you directly, Shindo-san. I realize now how much you mean to Eiri and I am willing to support your relationship."

Shuichi couldn't hold in his disbelief even though he heard the same information from Yuki yesterday. Tohma had spent three years trying desperately to ruin their relationship which had been a success as Shuichi had left for the sake of Yuki's health however now he was admitting that he was wrong. After Shuichi got over the initial disbelief he felt as ecstatic as ever and allowed himself to bounce around the room.

"Yay! I can stay with Yuki! Yuki~ Yuki~ Seguichi realizes his wrong now! La, la, la~" Shuichi sang.

"It's good to finally see your true personality Shindo-san" Tohma remarked as Shuichi continued to jump around the room. Five minutes later, Shuichi had calmed down and was now sitting in front of Tohma.

"I hope that you will be able to forgive me and we can become friends after all of this." Tohma said.

"I would do anything for Yuki!" Shuichi said energetically. Tohma couldn't help but smile, this was the person that had opened Eiri's heart again and he was eternally grateful.

"I would also like for you to look over this information and tell me what your thoughts on this subject are." Tohma asked handing him a sheet of paper a devious smile on his face.

Shuichi smiled when he saw what was written on the sheet and nodded his agreement.

"If Yuki agrees to it then fine but _only_ if Yuki agrees."

Without another word Shuichi returned back downstairs to his band and Twilight. Upon entering he could feel everyone's curiosity at his excursion with the NG boss however they kept it to themselves. K was staring at him though as if to try and decipher out of his mood what had transpired.

"Relax K I will discuss it with you later." Shuichi whispered sitting next to K.

"You had better." K warned holding his gun threateningly.

* * *

"Tohma what is this about?" Suguru asked.

The members of both Nittle Grasper and Twilight were present in the room as well as Yuki who for once in past three years had a genuine smile gracing his features.

"Well I have successfully located Shuichi Shindo and would like to formally invite you to his birthday celebration that will be held here in two days time." Tohma said smiling.

"You found him? Have you been in contact with him? What did he say?" Hiro said hurriedly ignoring the remainder of Tohma's speech.

"Relax, Nakano-san. Eiri and I have indeed been in contact with him and he has agreed to attend this event with us. I do believe that he desires to remain in Tokyo where his true friends are." Smiles and cheers erupted around them.

"Shu-chan's coming home~ Shu-chan's coming home~" Ryuichi chanted.

But no one could forget the look upon Yuki's face, a mix of love and delight for his lover.

* * *

"Shuichi are you positive about this?" K wondered. Shuichi looked up from the back seat of the car to the rear-view mirror where K was looking at him concern a mask on his face.

Shuichi had agreed to tell K about everything that had occurred over the past few days with Tohma and Yuki but only if they had a separate car from the rest of his band members. Slowly he had explained the day Tohma and Yuki had barged into their apartment and then the day at the amusement park where he and Yuki had reconciled in a small cafe.

"I'm positive, K. I want to return to the life where I was loved, a life where I could also love and didn't have to continuously worry about people trying desperately to guess who I am. I want my Yuki back." Shuichi watched K smile at him.

"If you're sure then I'll support you but what are you going to do about Sorrow and Touching Darkness?"

Shuichi shrugged his shoulders. "Honestly I haven't thought that far ahead yet. We still have-"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF IT YET SHUICHI!" K screamed turning around and pointing a gun in his face.

"K, KEEP YOU EYES ON THE ROAD!!! EYES ON THE ROAD!!!" Shuichi screamed back in fear as their car swerved while K ranted on about his job as vocalist of Touching Darkness. Shuichi simply closed his eyes and prayed that he would return to the apartment in one piece.

* * *

**Hey people yes I'm getting slower with the updates but I've been busy!! *cries* oh but I have started on the next chapter so shouldn't have to wait too long for that. And I have finally gotten rid of my Shuichi/Tohma fanfic craving...with a one-shot...an incredibly long one-shot but oh well I shall post it asap! Lol**

**Oh well next chapter shall be the party and we shall see more crazy Sorrow! Yay!**

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**edenforest1, secret hidden within me, Kiduku Desire, EmoLollipop, Yana5, KyoHana, Spirit's Whisper, sonata hirano, animegirl2781, shuichi-koi, mystakenidentity, Island Honey**

**wah I simply love you guys!**

**~MidnightEmber~**


	11. The Only One

Chapter Eleven: The Only One

The night of the party had finally arrived and Shuichi couldn't be happier or more nervous. Tonight he was going to turn up as Chaos of Touching Darkness and reveal himself as Shuichi Shindo with the help of both Yuki and Tohma. He just hoped that his friends believed him. Unfortunately the only way to gain access to the V.I.P. party was to arrive with Touching Darkness as the entertainment for the evening. K was currently driving like a sane person (for once) towards the NG building probably because he was nearly as nervous as Shuichi about how tonight was going to turn out.

"Remind me again K, why are we doing this?" Mello asked.

"It's a favour to a friend." K replied watching Shuichi in the backseat fidget.

Pulling up outside the NG building, Shuichi took a deep breath in, trying to relax is nerves in case Sorrow realized he was nervous about performing for the first time since their band first started. K opened the door revealing a small gathering of everyone Shuichi knew. Twilight and Nittle Grasper were both present as well as Yuki, Mika, Tatsuha and Ayaka. He smiled remembering the first time he read that Hiro was caught with Ayaka in the park. He'd wanted to laugh and call Hiro however he'd been on tour and didn't even have a single moment of privacy.

"What is Touching Darkness doing here Seguchi-san?" Hiro asked as they walked in to the room with K leading.

"They will be tonight's entertainment."

"Indeed everyone will be watching them tonight." Yuki said smiling at Shuichi.

"Shall we begin then?" Sorrow asked.

"Why, Shuichi isn't even here yet?" Suguru exclaimed.

"I'm sure he'll turn up when he's ready." Shuichi said standing in front of the microphone. His band members were already in place and ready to play. "Let's get the party started for our guest of honour, whenever he decides to show." Then Shuichi locked eyes with Yuki as everyone began talking and opened his mouth to sing.

_I don't want to be saved, I wanna go down with you  
Together we will find a way to come back~ (Come back, Come back)_

_I don't want to be saved, I wanna go down with you  
Together we will find a way to come back _

_I thought it was too late  
I thought you disappeared  
It's been a while since I believed in you  
I used to have the strength  
I used to just walk away  
But now that I see you  
It's not enough (It's not enough)_

_I don't want to be saved, I wanna go down with you  
Together we will find a way to come back~ _

_I'm falling once again  
I'm following the way  
Nothing's changed since I believed in you  
I knew that you would come  
I thought that I'd be afraid  
But now that I have you  
It's not enough_

_I don't want to be saved, I wanna go down with you  
Together we will find a way to come back_

_  
Forgotten fears I throw away  
All of the caution out into the wind  
My soul is thirsty  
And I'm still dreaming of you  
Get out of my mind (come back) _

_I don't want to be saved, I wanna go down with you  
Together we will find a way to come back  
I don't want to be saved, I wanna give in to you  
Together we will find a way to come back_

Throughout the whole performance, Shuichi's eyes hardly ever left Yuki's however everyone else was too busy talking and discussing him to actually realize what was happening. Hiro and Suguru were busy discussing something while Tatsuha was desperately trying to get Ryuichi to calm down. Mika and Tohma were drinking and laughing with Noriko. Daisuke was watching his move moments on stage trying desperately to learn to be relaxed on stage.

While looking at Yuki he knew that he'd portrayed the lyrics meaning perfectly for him. Yuki was watching him with a lust that Shuichi could feel from on stage. Shuichi wanted nothing more than to simply run over and wrap himself in Yuki's arms however he was still Chaos and as Chaos he would remain until his band members left the party.

After he'd finished he heard the group applaud mostly out of politeness. Tohma walked up to the side stage as Shuichi walked off. His band members had already been whisked away by Alex who also knew of tonight's plan. Shuichi could feel Sorrow's intense gaze as he retreated into the night followed by Alex while he remained by Tohma's side.

"What is Chaos still doing here?" Hiro asked realizing that he was staying.

"Tohma~ Did you invite Chaos-chan to play with Shu-chan?" Ryuichi asked.

Yuki could no longer stand being in the background and stepped forward. As soon as Shuichi had spotted him he looked at K who nodded. Tohma smiled at both of their eagerness to be with each other. Regardless of the other eyes that remained trained on him Shuichi immediately smiled.

"Yuki~ Yuki~ Yuki~!" Shuichi screamed with his usual bubbly energy.

Shuichi ran and caught Yuki in a bear hug almost knocking them both to the floor. A heavy silence fell over the room as Yuki returned the embrace as much as possible. Everyone was now watching them both as they remained attached to each other. Shuichi squeaked as Yuki immediately began nipping at his neck and ear, running his arms over the small of his lover's back.

"Umm...Yuki, we have an audience..." Shuichi said blushing deeply.

Yuki sighed and glared at the others as if telling them to leave however he allowed Shuichi to stand on his own keeping a firm arm around his waist. Hiro was the first to step forward out of the uncertain group.

"Shu is that really you?"

"Of course it's me silly Hiro! Did...did you forget me...after only three years? Wah! Hiro forgot me!" Shuichi immediately began to wail. Instead of hurrying to try and cease his crying everyone began to laugh at Shuichi's usual antics. To Shuichi it felt as if he had never left.

"Now Ryu-chan can perform for Shu-chan!" Ryuichi shouted excitedly jumping up on stage.

"This song was written by me." Yuki whispered in Shuichi's ear as Nittle Grasper began to perform.

_**I'm whole with you**_

_**You're whole with me**_

_**There's something here**_

_**For us to be**_

_**In this lonely world**_

_**With our lonely lives**_

_**Nothing can conquer**_

_**Our whole love tonight**._

_I felt the pain and let it wallow_

_I felt the hate so strong yet shallow_

_No matter where you went_

_No matter where you'll be_

_I've got you deep inside_

_Warm inside me_

_I bled so much I thought I'd die_

_Believing I had one more try_

_But now my search has ended_

_Now what's lost is found_

_If our love is freedom_

_Then with you I'm bound._

_**I'm whole with you**_

_**You're whole with me**_

_**There's something here**_

_**For us to be**_

_**In this lonely world**_

_**With our lonely lives**_

_**Nothing can conquer**_

_**Our whole love tonight.**_

_I cried so hard I had no more tears_

_So afraid I couldn't face my fears_

_But when I looked aside_

_I saw it in your eyes_

_No more hiding truth_

_To save our lies_

_I prayed to be taken far away_

_Instead of staying I ran astray_

_Once my legs gave out_

_My heart gave in_

_Apart we may lose_

_But whole we win_

_**I'm whole with you**_

_**You're whole with me**_

_**There's something here**_

_**For us to be**_

_**In this lonely world**_

_**With our lonely lives**_

_**Nothing can conquer**_

_**Our whole love tonight**_

Ryuichi finished the song and immediately shouted, "Happy Birthday Shu-chan!"

"Happy Birthday Shuichi!" Everyone shouted.

Shuichi was on the verge of tears. Never had he believed that he would be accepted back by his friends as easily as this yet it was happening and it wasn't a dream. (He'd pinched his cheek half way through Ryuichi's song.)

All through the night Shuichi enjoyed the company of his friends. Even though they hadn't seen him in three years they still remembered all of his likes and dislikes however Hiro told Shuichi when they were alone that Yuki had been the one to tell everyone. Together they had played numerous games that last until midnight. Shuichi and Ryuichi were the centre of attention as he returned to his energetic bubbly self and jumped around everywhere during the games. Shuichi finally had time to be himself and didn't have to pretend to be someone he knew he wasn't.

"Next time you come to NG we have to catch up!" Hiro said when their night came to an end.

"Indeed you must tell us all about your three years in America." Suguru agreed.

"Shu-chan and Ryu-chan have to sing together again!" Ryuichi shouted in excitement.

Tohma nodded to them both as Yuki took Shuichi's hand and led him out the front door of the NG building leading him towards his car.

"Chaos. Chaos! I've been waiting for you!" Sorrow called running forward suddenly out of the darkness.

"Who is this?" growled Yuki placing a protective arm around Shuichi's waist and pulling him closer also revealing their relationship.

"Do you ever pay attention to what I do?" Shuichi laughed. No matter what Yuki said it couldn't possibly ruin his night, not tonight.

"I began only recently since you arrived." Yuki purred in his ear. Shuichi shivered at the closeness, closing his eyes in ecstasy. He hadn't been this close to Yuki in years and could feel his body beginning to react. Yuki glanced up into the glaring eyes of the man before him.

"Honestly, this is Sorrow he's the guitarist from my current band Touching Darkness." Shuichi managed to say normally.

"Are you ready to leave now Chaos?" Sorrow asked excitedly hiding his true intentions.

"I'm sorry Sorrow but tonight I'll be spending it with Yuki." Shuichi smiled.

Sorrow immediately ran forward and grabbed onto Shuichi's wrist. Shuichi froze shocked at how tight Sorrow was holding onto his wrist almost bringing tears to his eyes. Yuki growled and forcefully pulled Shuichi out of Sorrow's hold examining his wrist. He couldn't see anything apart from red finger marks yet knew by tomorrow it would turn into a nasty bruise that he would have to hide. Without even allowing Sorrow another word Yuki pulled Shuichi away from Sorrow and towards his car careful not to harm his other wrist.

"I won't allow this Shuichi. I won't allow you to be taken away from me. It is time for an intervention." Sorrow growled turning around and walking into the night.

* * *

"Yuki this night has been perfect!" Shuichi shouted as he jumping off of Yuki's back, his usual energy back after the shock.

"Almost perfect." Yuki corrected him, kissing his wrist gently. Shuichi couldn't help but giggle silently. He loved the new Yuki who showed more affection yet was still as fiercely protective as before.

As soon as Shuichi had entered the familiar apartment he felt Yuki's arms wrap firmly around him. Yuki rested his head against his lover's shoulder breathing in the all too familiar scent of strawberries. He felt Shuichi shudder under him when he breathed against Shuichi's ear.

"Never leave my side again, brat." Shuichi smiled at his nickname. Before it had annoyed him but now it made Shuichi's stomach flutter. Turning around, Shuichi kissed Yuki gently savouring the moment like it was his last.

"You are the only one I shall ever love." Yuki growled at the words playfully and couldn't wait a second longer. Without a warning, Yuki picked his lover up and threw him over one shoulder while beginning to undo the buttons on his shirt.

"Hey that's my job!" Shuichi complained as he heard the buttons pop.

"Not tonight." Yuki said not taking his eyes away from his destination. Shuichi gulped and gave a nervous laugh. He'd forgotten this side of Yuki and willingly allowed his lover to drop him unceremoniously on the bed. Before he could even get comfortable on the bed Yuki was on top of him pulling Shuichi's shirt off only for it to join Yuki's on the floor. Slowly Yuki began kissing his neck then began nipping the skin on his collar bone earning a squeak from Shuichi.

"Tonight is all about you." Yuki said pausing. Shuichi felt Yuki moving further down and allowed a small moan to escape his lips. Yuki looked up to see Shuichi's eyes glistening with lust and ecstasy. Indeed tonight was all about Shuichi and Yuki would never let him go.

* * *

**Hiya! Yay another chapter down! And plenty to go... I hope... I enjoyed writing this chapter and couldn't stop that would explain the length! *sighes* The first song is Not Enough by Lacuna Coil and the second is Whole by Princess Ai. By the way I'm pretty sure Whole is missing some lyrics *cries***

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**KyoHana, sonata hirano, Yana5, KawaiiAlthea, mystakenidentity, animegirl2781, EmoLollipop, edenforest1, Island Honey, PKS, Loveless19**

**Special thanks to GoDrinkPinesol624 for sending song suggestions! They are awesome!**

**~MidnightEmber~**


	12. You Belong to Me

Chapter Twelve: You Belong to Me

Shuichi was incredibly sore the next morning as he lay beside Yuki in bed but he really didn't mind. Watching as he love continued to sleep he rolled over. Glancing at the clock, he groaned inwardly realizing that he would have to leave soon otherwise risk being late to work. Trying desperately not to wake Yuki, Shuichi began getting up until an arm wrapped gently around his waist and pulled him back into bed against a warm body.

"Good morning sleepy head." Shuichi said happily. Shuichi watched as Yuki opened a bleary eye at him as if to verify that it truly was Shuichi talking before closing it and pulling him even closer.

"I have to go to work soon."

"Just call K, he'll understand." Yuki purred in Shuichi's ear pulling him closer.

"What about you then? Don't you have a novel to finish?"

"I recently finished my latest novel."

"So I can spend time with you?" Shuichi asked nervously.

"As much as you want." Shuichi smiled warmly at Yuki knowing that he couldn't see from his perspective.

"I love you Yuki."

"I love you to Shuichi now let me sleep for another half an hour."

Shuichi couldn't help but giggle as the old Yuki resurfaced. Some things never change, he thought. Closing his eyes, Shuichi snuggled into Yuki's chest allowing him to wrap his arms around his waist pulling him closer however Shuichi couldn't sleep and spent the remainder of the morning watching and listening as his lover slept beside him.

* * *

Yuki was now busy in the kitchen preparing breakfast (more like lunch since it was already eleven o'clock) as Shuichi dressed. Shuichi jumped over the bed excitedly and grabbed his phone as it started ringing.

"Hello?" Shuichi answered.

"Good morning Shindo-san."

"Tohma you can call me Shuichi and what do you want?"

"K has been hounding at me for allowing you to spend your time with Eiri however I believe that it will be beneficial for both of you."

"That isn't the only reason you called me Tohma." Shuichi said even though he was glad that Tohma was now accepting his relationship with Yuki.

"I would like to offer you a contract either with the reformed Bad Luck or with Touching Darkness." Shuichi could hardly breathe. He never considered the fact that Tohma might be willing to offer him or his band a contract with NG however this would allow him to stay close to Yuki now that they were back together again. Shuichi stopped dancing around happily to answer Tohma.

"I would have to talk to my band first." He answered professionally.

"Very well I shall see you soon." Shuichi began jumping around excitedly. He was back in Tokyo and things were finally going his way!

* * *

"So you finally decide to show up Chaos and look you dragged in your new toy."

Shuichi couldn't help but smile at K as he walked into the NG building accompanied by Yuki. Yuki had is arm slung around Shuichi's shoulders as they walked into the band's room. Both Nittle Grasper and Twilight were seated in the room with his band all eyeing him as they entered. His friends smiled at him knowing that he couldn't really smile back with his band in the room. Obviously, Tohma had other business considering he wasn't in the room.

"I see you had some fun last night Chaos." Mello observed as he continued to read in a corner. Rage simply laughed at Sorrow's discomfort on the subject.

"He's only a toy and as soon as we leave Choas will have to leave it behind!" Sorrow said jumping up as if he succeeded in separating them.

"Actually Tohma offered us a contract with NG so we might stay here." Shuichi said before anyone could answer.

Everyone's jaws fell to the ground as he told them the news. After awhile Shuichi watched as his friends smiled warmly at the idea of him staying. His band members had different views though. Mello looked the same as always, expressionless. Rage was excited and looked as if he could smash anything. But Sorrow had a glassy look as if he were deep in thought.

"Of course we will have to discuss this in private but I think this could be a good change for us." Shuichi said watching the expressions of both his friends and his band mates.

"Well this is excellent news! We shall have to leave and discuss this!" K said excidtely.

"When will you be returning?" Daisuke

"We have a concert tonight so we won't be back today." Sorrow mumbled as he walked out the door followed by Mello and Rage.

"Good bye Yuki."

"I'll be at the concert tonight so we can spend more time together afterwards." Shuichi smiled to his friends as he left. Yes, things were defiantly going his way.

* * *

Shuichi was thoroughly excited. In exactly fifteen minutes he would be back in Yuki's apartment. The lights on stage were beginning to blind him however he didn't care all he had to do was sing one last song and then he could spend the entire night forgetting everything and just remain by Yuki's side. He wouldn't have to think about any decision or even Touching Darkness. He could simply be Shuichi.

"This song was written by Sorrow and I. For our final song I present to you, Heart of Misery."

_I don't want to feel anything today_

_(I don't want to feel anything today)_

_Anything at all and just be alone _

_(I just want to know that you want to know)_

_I don't want to lie through another day_

_(I don't want to live through another day)_

_Meaningless to fight for the victory_

_I just want to dive in the heart of misery_

_One love, one life_

_Locked me in the heart of misery_

_One loss, one fight_

_Locked me in the heart of misery_

_I will never be anything again_

_(I will never be anything again)_

_I'm tired to give, I don't want to try_

_(I'm afraid to live, I'm afraid to die)_

_I just want to fly, throw it all away_

_(I just want to fly, throw it all away)_

_Meaningless to fight for sympathy_

_I just want to drown in the heart of misery_

Shuichi looked over and smiled as Sorrow sang every second line. It was a change from their usual style but K had insisted on something different and Sorrow had decided to help him out. He knew why K had insisted on a change and that was because they could be staying in Tokyo permanently. Shuichi turned back to the audience and began to sing the rest of the song by himself.

_One love, one life_

_Locked me in the heart of misery_

_One loss, one fight_

_Locked me in the heart of misery_

_One man forgot to breathe_

_One heart refused to beat_

_One live is incomplete_

_One loss, one fight_

_Locked me in the heart of misery_

_One loss, one fight_

_Locked me in the heart of misery_

_One love, one life_

_Locked me in the heart of misery_

_One loss, one fight_

_Locked me in the heart of misery_

_Ah ah, ah ah_

_In the heart of misery_

_Ah ah, ah ah _

_In the heart of misery_

Shuichi thanked the crowed and ran backstage, excited to spend the night with Yuki.

"Chaos, move it or we'll leave without you!" Rage yelled.

"That's alright. I'm going home with Yuki anyway." Shuichi replied trying not to bounce around the room in joy.

"You know I think this Yuki person is good for you. He's bringing out the kinder side to you."

Shuichi smiled. No he's bringing out the Shuichi, he thought. Rage shrugged realizing that Shuichi had gone into a dream state and followed as Mello left the room. Only Sorrow and Shuichi were left in the room.

"Chaos please come back tonight." Sorrow begged.

"I'm sorry Sorrow but I've already told Yuki that I'd spend the night with him." Shuichi said turning to collect his belongings. Suddenly, Shuichi felt something heavy collide with the side of his head. Falling to the ground, his vision began to blur.

"Chaos, no...Shuichi Shindo...you belong to me." And with that Shuichi fell into the darkness.

* * *

**CLIFFHANGER!!!! MWAHAHA**

**Soz for the slow update guys! I've been sick for the past two weeks *cries* but I shall try to pick up as fast as possible! XD**

**Wah! Finally Sorrow has taken some action!*cries* What's going to happen to Shuichi now? Oh wait...I'm the author and I already know...lol...I have been neglecting Rage and Mello *cries* This song is called Heart of Misery by The Rasmus. **

**OMG GUYS!!! I have over 100reviews!!! LOVE YOU GUYS!!!**

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**Island Honey, RiverSakima, DarkMetalAngel of Destruction, KyoHana, sonata hirano, secret hidden within me, Yana5, PKS, mystakenidentity, animegirl2781, Ou-Rex, Kiduku Desire, RenoBites44, Loveless19, sarah83654123**

**Special thanks for song reviews... RiverSakima & sonata hirano**

**~MidnightEmber~**


	13. Sorrowful Love

**Sorry this took so long but i was writing for Yullen week and now that it is over i shall continue with this and maybe start writing nother fic as well!!!**

**Note: Don't get confused over what Sorrow is thinking and the past chapters! It shall all be explained...NOW READ ON!!!**

* * *

_RECAP!!!_

"_Chaos please come back tonight." Sorrow begged._

"_I'm sorry Sorrow but I've already told Yuki that I'd spend the night with him." Shuichi said turning to collect his belongings. Suddenly, Shuichi felt something heavy collide with the side of his head. Falling to the ground, his vision began to blur._

"_Chaos, no...Shuichi Shindo...you belong to me." And with that Shuichi fell into the darkness._

* * *

Chapter Thirteen: Sorrowful Love

Sorrow had a plan. It was marvellous and simple, something that he had taken weeks to think of. A plan to kidnap his beloved Shuichi. Of course he wouldn't have to do this if Shuichi was willing to leave his past behind like he was meant to do when first signing up with Touching Darkness and remain in the present with himself. However Shuichi just had to meet that obnoxious novelist again only to have his feelings rekindled. Now Shuichi was trying to get them to remain in Tokyo! Sure the band would probably do even better in Japan but that also meant that Shuichi could stay with his beloved Eiri Yuki.

Sorrow almost crashed the car while thinking of the bastard. Eiri Yuki that bastard didn't deserve Shuichi! Simply imagining the times Shuichi had spent with that bastard made Sorrow feel sick. That was why it was better for them to leave. Much, much better for them to leave. With this plan Shuichi would remain by Sorrow's side forever even if the plan was simple. He would never be hurt again! Oh right the plan...what were the steps again?

The plan went as follows...

1- Kidnap Shuichi after concert

2- Call personal jet and tell them to prepare for take off

3- Get Shuichi and himself to the airport

4- Land in New York

5- Disappear into country...

That was his simple plan and so far it had worked perfectly. Now he was speeding down the highway without a care in the world. By the time the remainder of the band could figure out that Shuichi... well Chaos to them... wasn't with Yuki and that Sorrow was no longer with them it would be too late. Sorrow would be safely in the air with his beloved Shuichi beside him. Nothing would be able to stop him. Sure it may take Shuichi a while to readjust to the change but they could live together away from everything that relates to the past. It took him two years to completly forget Yuki so it would take him awhile yet again but Sorrow was willing to put up with anything for his Shuichi.

I may have to lock him up for the first few months until he calms down, Sorrow worried. Sorrow thought carefully about how the next year or two would affect their relationship (it didn't look good) however he figured it would simply get better after Shuichi realized that what Sorrow did, he did for them. Together we will remain forever...

Finally he arrived at the airport. Hurriedly he parked the car and opened the backseat to pick Shuichi up. Of course Shuichi remained free from any type of bond that could lead to the idea of kidnapping. If he was caught now then they would be separated forever and that was something that _defiantly_ could not happen!

Carrying him through the front doors Sorrow was already thinking ahead checking everything was perfect for their departure. Hardly anyone was around at this time. All he had to do was place Shuichi gently into one of the comfortable seats in their jet and make sure that he didn't wake up until they were safely in their new home. Then everything would be perfect.

There was just one problem now................. _Where is the plane?_

Sorrow stopped in his tracks. Their plane wasn't on the runway ready for them; it was still in the hanger. Sorrow felt his eyes bulge in fear and panic. Why wouldn't the plane be here? He had called the pilot the instant Shuichi had fallen unconscious on the floor telling him to prepare the plane. That had allowed them approximately an hour before he arrived with Shuichi which by Sorrow's calculations had been plenty of time to prepare for their departure. Where were the pilots? What were they doing now?

Sorrow was about ready to through a fit if it weren't for Shuichi who was still unconscious in his arms. Turning around he began to walk away from the plane convinced that something was wrong and that he needed to move fast or face being caught. This was a huge glitch in his plan.

_If I'm caught now then Shuichi and I will be separated and I can't allow that! I can't allow that bastard to have him, I can't!_

Sorrow hurried to the front door and immediately slowed down as he saw a shadow leaning against the doorframe. He knew this wouldn't be good and began to glance around the room for another exit but he couldn't find one. Wait?! Where were all the late night flyers? Panic was getting the best of him, he could feel it. But nothing could go wrong as long as he held Shuichi. Yes, everything would be alright as long as Shuichi was there...

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" An infuriated growl accused from the doorway.

Sorrow turned to face Eiri Yuki glaring down upon him. His panic immediately got the better of him. Turning around with Shuichi still in his arms he came face to face with a gun which he knew immediately belonged to their manager K.

"Shu- Chaos has had enough of Tokyo. He wanted to go back to America." Sorrow said trying to convince their manager that he was innocent. The gun however didn't budge.

"Hand him over to Yuki-san now." K spat in disgust. Sorrow's grip on Shuichi tightened making Shuichi whimper in his sleep induced state.

"No! Shuichi wants to return home!" Sorrow screamed.

"His home is here with us you freak." Yuki growled.

"He doesn't love you! You forced him away! You never loved him enough! But I can do all of that and more! I can! I can make him all better just like he can help me!" Sorrow was now in hysterics still holding dearly onto Shuichi.

That's when he saw something that made him shiver. Eiri Yuki smirked... It wasn't a smirk that said he was stupid or that he was fooling around. That smirk had evil intentions towards him. Something was wrong...he'd said something wrong...what was it that caused Eiri Yuki to react this way?

"You should get your facts correct before spurting them." Sorrow ceased his movements.

He had been wrong about their past relationship.

Horror struck deep within Sorrow. Now it made sense why Shuichi would willingly go back to the bastard before him. Eiri Yuki hadn't been the one to destroy Shuichi or their relationship, it had been someone else...

"You didn't hurt Shuichi... Then why did he break it off with you? Why would he never desire to return here? I don't understand. Why?" Sorrow asked calming down slightly.

Nothing made sense anymore. He had done something that was completely wrong. He had tried to take Shuichi away from the one he loved. They were both clearly in love with each other but why had he run away? What made him leave? Thoughts kept running through his mind as he stared at Shuichi and then at Yuki. What had he missed? He was so positive that Yuki had hurt his beloved Shuichi that he'd acted without thinking....

"What happened in your past?" Sorrow whispered to the unconscious Shuichi.

Shuichi didn't stir. Nor did Sorrow believe he would for another few hours. That blow had made sure of that. Sorrow could feel the lump on the back of Shuichi's head. He felt a single tear roll down his face and fall onto the vocalist. He had nearly destroyed Shuichi's life. This had been wrong and now he had to pay the price.

"Hand Shuichi over to Yuki-san." K ordered the gun still poised at Sorrow's head.

Reluctantly, Sorrow handed Shuichi to Yuki who took him gently much more gently then Sorrow had and without another word walked quickly away from them both obviously headed to his car that was parked outside. That was probably the last time I'll see Shuichi ever again, Sorrow though sadly.

"How did you know that I was here?" Sorrow asked raising his hands in surrender.

"The pilot called me about the sudden decision after you made the call. I instructed him not to bother about it which is why the plane is still in its hanger and not ready for your departure." K said smirking. Sorrow just looked defeated at the ground.

"Come Sorrow I must get you away from here now."

Silently, Sorrow nodded and allowed K to direct him to the car that was waiting for them at the entrance of the airport.

* * *

Sorrow sat inside Tohma Seguchi's office in the NG building. After everything he didn't get Shuichi and now he was being watched by their manager K who, Sorrow had figured out, only cared for Shuichi's safety not the entire band. It had made perfect sense then. K had been there when they had first started Touching Darkness, standing there beside Shuichi as if they had known each other for years. They had of course. K had been the manager of Bad Luck when Shuichi had been the vocalist...how could he have missed that?

Sighing, he waited patiently as Tohma Seguchi and Shuichi's ex-boss walked calmly into the room. How could he have screwed up so badly?

"Sorrow, you only have two options here. Either you go to jail on the charges of attempted kidnapping or we take you to therapy sessions with a psychiatrist." Tohma said straightforward.

"I don't want to go to jail."

"Very well but we will have to record your details before you leave. So I can set you up in a private facility." Tohma said.

"My real name is Shuri Kozuki." Sorrow said quietly. "My past is something I will share when the remainder of Touching Darkness also reveals there's."

Tohma nodded. He had expected this answer. Touching Darkness was highly secretive about their pasts and there was nothing he could do about that since he didn't own them. Silence reigned in the room for awhile as Tohma prepared for Shuri's departure.

"Will I be able to see Shuichi again?"

Tohma looked up at him to see Kozuki looking depressed.

"Only if he and Eiri agree however I doubt it will be anytime soon. Eiri is rather protective of Shuichi even if he doesn't admit it."

Tohma watched as Shuri's face fell as if he had lost someone precious to him.

"How did you know Shuichi was Chaos?" Tohma asked curiously.

"Five years ago, two before Touching Darkness began; I came here to visit a friend. That friend had been a Bad Luck fan. He was obsessed and it caught me as well. I was obsessed with Shuichi because he reminded me so much of someone I had once known. Then when I saw him being introduced as Chaos I thought I was really lucky. I knew then that Shuichi had obviously quit Bad Luck and had also left Eiri Yuki. I felt blessed-"

"Alright we don't need a life story." K said cleaning his gun with boredom.

"I'll never be able to see him again." He said more to himself than the others.

"There is a chance that you will however there is an equal chance that you won't." Tohma explained calmly.

Shuri just looked at his hands that were lying loosely in his hands. He really had screwed everything up. No matter what he tried he couldn't hold the ones that he loved close. They always seemed to disappear. First his lover- no don't back there...then Shuichi...

"I shall be here for you every step of the way, Kozuki-san." Tohma said placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

For the first time Shuri felt that someone actually cared for him. Tears of pain and joy fell down his cheeks as K led him out of the office and into the car. From there it was a four hour drive to the private clinic that was about to become his permanent home for a few years. The only thing he wished for at the one moment was the chance to apologize to Shuichi for his actions.

* * *

Shuichi woke up to the morning sunlight seeping through the open blinds of Yuki's apartment. His head felt like it was completely numb and as he reached to the back he felt a rather nasty limp. The last thing he remembered was being at his concert last night. He remembered telling Rage and Mello to go on ahead and that's when Sorrow had started talking. What had shocked him the most was that Sorrow had actually known what his real name was. Then everything was blank. Looking around he found Yuki sitting in a chair beside the bed with his head resting on the bed beside Shuichi's hand.

"Yuki?" Shuichi said quietly.

"You're awake finally brat." Yuki said growling with his usual sleepiness. _Darn I said I wasn't going to sleep until the brat woke up and here he is waking me up as usual..._

"What happened?" Shuichi asked looking around the familiar room.

"You nearly took a permanent one way trip back to America with Sorrow." Shuichi's eyes widened in surprise. He hadn't expected that Sorrow was that close to him.

"I don't remember anything after my talk with Sorrow."

Sighing, Yuki began to retell every single part of the story in detail that he could remember. By the end of it Shuichi was crying. Not because he had almost been taken away from Yuki again and not because he had been kidnapped by a person he thought was his friend but because he hadn't realized how much it had hurt Sorrow for him to be in Tokyo.

"You're safe now with me and that's all that matters." Yuki said pulling Shuichi into his arms.

"You will never have to leave me again."

* * *

**My fave little sis and got bored on the weekend and decided to go through our old stuff and found our Nintendo 64...to our surprise it still worked... so we've been replaying every single game possible...the graphics sucked...but we still had fun!!!**

**Yuki to the rescue!!! Sorrow's going to therapy...when he should just be jailed...NO ONE SHOULD KIDNAP SHU-CHAN!!!! But it makes for great fanfiction!!!**

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**Ferler, MitarashiiDango, Island Honey, Yana5, Kiduku Desire, sonata hirano, ShuichiYuki01, Xanthophobiac, mystakenidentity, sarah83654123, DarkMetalAngel of Destruction, PKS, RiverSakina, RenoBites44, edenforest1, **

**~MidnightEmber**


	14. Statement

Chapter Fourteen: Statement

Shuichi sat with Rage and Mello in their rented apartment quietly waiting for K to return. Alex stood in the corner of the room obviously annoyed at how everything had occurred during their time in Japan. K was currently taking Sorrow to a private facility where he could obtain the correct medical care. Of course Rage and Mello where both aware of the current situation however they now had a slightly greater problem to deal with.

Now they had to decide what they were going to do with Touching Darkness since they no longer had a guitarist. No one could say how long it would take Sorrow to recover...if he ever did at all. This meant that they had three choices.

1- Disband Touching Darkness

They couldn't choose this because it would ruin sales and they would loose their jobs and money...

2- Hire a new guitarist

This was possible but that meant that they would have to end their contract first and it was impossible at the moment when they couldn't continue their tour without a guitarist...

3- Reform the band with a preexisitng band

If they chose this option they would have to locate a band that had previously disbanded...that was just too much hastle...

They were in deep trouble especially since they had to appear on a TV show tomorrow and perform live. Without a guitarist there wasn't any chance of that. Shuichi sighed this wasnt't going to work out as planned. Rage and Mello were still in shock over Sorrow's betrayl so they simply sat in silence. Just then K walked in the door followed by none other than Tohma.

"Tohma, what are you doing here?" Shuichi asked shocked.

"I believe I have a way to solve both our problems." Tohma said smiling innocently.

Shuichi almost shuddered. Tohma's smile was almost sinister. He had a bad feeling about this but if he could help them it would be great chance to secure his place in Tokyo.

"What is your plan?" Shuichi asked smiling almost as sinishterly.

"Well..."

* * *

It felt awkward standing there without Sorrow by his side however he knew that it was going to be impossible. Sorrow was no longer a member of Touching Darkness since his admission and he doubted that Sorrow would get well in a week. Shuichi stood in front of the live audience and began to sing...

_Lithium- don't want to lock me up inside  
Lithium- don't want to forget how it feels without  
Lithium- I want to stay in love with my sorrow  
oh but God I want to let it go_

_Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone  
Couldn't hide the emptiness you let it show  
Never wanted to be so cold  
Just didn't drink enought to say you love me_

Shuichi couldn't help but think of his past relationship with Yuki when he sang this verse. He would never come to bed and was always busy with his novel. Yuki never uttered the words 'I love you' even though Shuichi had shouted them constantly at Yuki everyday they were together. All in all their relationship hadn't been steady but they had still been together and anything was better than nothing. However things had changed now and changed for the better. They both believed that.

_I can't hold on to me  
wonder what's wrong with me_

_Lithium- don't want to lock me up inside  
Lithium- don't want to forget how it feels without  
Lithium- I want to stay in love with my sorrow oh~_

_Don't want to let it lay me down this time  
Drown my will to fly  
Here in the darkness I know myself  
Can't break free until I let it go  
Let me go_

_Darling I forgive you after all  
Anything is better than to be alone  
and in the end I guess I had to fall  
Always find my place among the ashes_

While singing this verse Shuichi stared right down the camera hoping that his message reach Sorrow somewhere that is if he was allowed TV. Sorrow had only done what he thought was for the best though he had wrong information. Shuichi would never blame Sorrow for his actions even though Yuki wa inclined to do so everytime he was mentioned. He had only wanted to feel loved something that Shuichi could slightly understand and he would never blame Sorrow for that.

_I can't hold on to me  
wonder what's wrong with me_

_Lithium- don't want to lock me up inside  
Lithium- don't want to forget how it feels without  
Lithium- stay in love with me  
oh I'm gonna let it go_

Shuichi finished singing and made is way over to the hostess of the music show 'Right Now'. Sorrow I hope you are able to watch this where ever you are, Shuichi thought sitting down and facing the hostess with a fake smile.

"Welcome to the show! Today was have special guest Touching Darkness as our entertainment for the evening. Currently sitting with me is vocalist of Touching Darkness, Chaos."

Shuichi simply nodded his head at the host and then the audience as he usually did instead of acknowledging them. Rage, Mello and Hiro were standing on the stage remaining with their instruments. Rage with his drums, Mello with his bass and Hiro with his guitar.

"Is there a reason why the guitarist of Twilight, Hiroshi Nakano, is filling in for Sorrow?" the hostess asked eyeing Hiro.

"Sorrow was feeling unwell tonight and since we are here with NG currently. We enquired whether any of their guitarists could fill in for im tonight. My apologies if this upsets everyone but I'm sure Sorrow is feeling very happy knowing that you all miss him." Shuichi said lying through his immediatly felt sympathy towards the guitarist who was 'unwell'.

"Well there has been rumors of change with Touching Darkness would you like to reveal anything to us?" the hostess hinted.

"It has been decided that after our contract ends with XMR tomorrow we shall be signing under a new label, NG and remain here in Japan. There will be a few changes in our band though which shall be released during and after our first performance in two weeks from today."

The entire audience was in shock however they were also excited. The rumors were true. There would be a change in Touching Darkness however what was still yet to revealed. Chaos sat calmly on the stage while he was questioned about numerous things and his opinions on different topics while Rage, Mello and Hiro gave comments on what they thought occassionaly. The audience however were curious as to what was going to change however that they would have to wait for....the show must go on.

* * *

**I updated fast on this! *party* though it is pretty short, next chapter shall be longer i promise...****lol another CLiffhanger....not as big as the last one. ****This song is Lithium by Evanescence. **

**Mega-cookies and a mention for the person who can guess correctly or close what will happen with Touching Darkness!!!!**

**Also looking for a song to play at their first performance~ suggestions?**

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**Island Honey, PKS, Yana5, RenoBites44, animegirl2781, MitarashiiDango, RiverSakina**

**~MidnightEmber**

* * *


	15. The Concert

Chapter Fifteen: The Concert

Shuichi stood before the large crowd in the dark. Tonight was the night they revealed themselves as the reformed Touching Darkness. They were finally ready.

In a week Touching Darkness had signed onto a new label, written a new song and also prepared the music for their first official show. Everyone had been amazed when Shuichi had finished their song in merely two days. Of course normally it took him longer but he was inspired by Sorrow and decided to dedicate their first song to him. The band had also decided to keep their image so Shuichi was dressed appropriately. One day before the concert, Shuichi had gone and had the blonde in his fringe darkened slightly. His naturally black hair was trimmed and he was ready for his performance the next day.

Now he was standing before the crowd wearing knee-high black boots above tight dark denim jeans. Two belts crossed over underneath a black coat and a deep red shirt. He felt so much like Shuichi yet looked exactly like Chaos. Shuichi was now a mix of both physically and mentally, the perfect balance of how he currently felt and his place in life. For the first time in his life Shuichi felt as if everything was right. He had returned to Japan, gotten back together with Yuki, fixed things up between himself and Tohma and begun a new band.

His band mates stood calmly behind him. Each one of them as excited as their vocalist not that he was showing it. They were also dressed accordingly yet in their own style. None of them were out of place though the dark image wasn't suited to some of them they still made it all work. Shuichi smiled remembering how everyone had reacted to the new wardrobe. Hysterics was the common element especially when black was the main colour however they had made it eventually work for everyone so the current dark style remained.

Then Shuichi heard the guitar begin to play which dragged him out of his thoughts. Suddenly the drums and other instruments joined in. Shuichi listened to the melody of music as the lights began to flash opening his mouth to sing.

_Heaven sent you to bring the answer  
Heaven sent you to cure this cancer  
For a moment unbeatable chance.  
For a moment the world in my hands_

_Like an angel you came  
Every time when I pray  
Guardian of my dreams  
Watching me when I sleep  
Like an angel you came  
Every time when I scream~_

_Time after time I lose again  
Night after night I wake up shaking  
'Cause my world is breaking  
__I'm fool enough to fail again  
Night after night I wake up crying  
'Cause I feel like dying_

_Still disconnected  
And unprotected  
Still I'm haunted  
But unwanted  
For a moment  
Unbreakable stars  
For a moment  
You stayed in my heart_

Shuichi couldn't help but think of all the times he had spent with Sorrow. He had been close friends with Sorrow for three years, four next month. They had been together, kept each other company and most importantly helped each other through the tough times when they yearned for their past lives. The first time that had happened to Shuichi, Sorrow forced him into watching a horror film. From then whenever Shuichi had been weak against his past they had watched horror movies much to Shuichi displeasure. His strong emotions poured sorrowfully into his vocals.

_Like an angel you came  
Every time when I pray  
Guardian of my dreams  
Watching me when I sleep  
Like an angel you came  
Every time when I scream_

_Time after time I lose again  
Night after night I wake up shaking  
'Cause my world is breaking  
__I'm fool enough to fail again  
Night after night I wake up crying  
'Cause I feel like dying_

Knowing it was the instrumental piece in the song, Shuichi ceased singing and began to dance seductively on the stage. His mind however was still with his memories of Sorrow. He remembered every single performance in America. The photo shoots and also the music videos. All of those were now in the past however Shuichi didn't want to let them go. Sorrow was a very important part of Shuichi's life and now he was simply...gone.

_Time after time I lose again  
Night after night I wake up shaking  
'Cause my world is breaking  
__I'm fool enough to fail again  
Night after night I wake up crying  
'Cause I feel like dying_

_Time after time I lose again  
Night after night I wake up shaking  
'Cause my world is breaking  
__I'm fool enough to fail again  
(Fool enough to fail again)  
Night after night I wake up crying  
'Cause I feel like dying_

The song ended and Shuichi looked at the cheering crowd. They were all excited. Many of the fans were still swaying and jumping to the music even though it had ended a few seconds ago. It seemed that the reformed Touching Darkness was a huge success exactly how Tohma had planned it. Shuichi smiled sadly, _This was for you Sorrow. Please get better soon, I want to see you again._

"I hope you haven't missed us in the week we were away! I shall allow each member of our group to introduce themselves." Shuichi said calmly to the crowd earning yet another cheer.

He had decided to keep his cool image and that included the personality. Sure he was still going to fool around and be a little more himself around his friends but that was only around them and not all the time. Shuichi had been playing the role of Chaos for so long that he had grown up enough to realize that he was acting childishly. Rage then stood from behind the drums to begin the introductions.

"I'm Kamijo Higurashi aka Rage and I'm the drummer."

"My name is Setsuna Aoyagi aka Mello and I'm the bassist."

"I'm Suguru Fugisaki and I'm the keyboardist."

"Yo I'm Hiroshi Nakano and I'm the guitarist."

"My name is Shuichi Shindo aka Chaos and I'm the vocalist. Together we form the new Touching Dakrness."

The crowd screamed as the former members of Touching Darkness revealed their names. Shuichi Shindo had officially returned to the stage.

* * *

_"In a press conference later this afternoon Touching Darkness announced that their past members Chaos, Sorrow, Mello and Rage shall be giving separate live interviews on their hidden pasts. What is in store for us? No one knows however most of the Japanese population are going beresrk over Shuichi Shindo or Chaos as he has been called recently. His sudden disappearance three years ago-"_

Yuki turned off the TV staring intently at Shuichi who had fallen asleep on him. Tomorrow should be an interesting turn of events.

* * *

**They have revealed themselves now...but what of their shady pasts? The interviews shall come in separate parts so who shall be first I wonder... What of Daisuke? Honestly who cares about him...but more shall be revealed next chapter! ****Incase you didn't know 'aka' stands for 'also known as'...just in case you didn't get it...**

**Cookies and a hug for PKS who guessed the outcome of the bands with the most detail correct! Though a few others where close as well....**

**Cookies for RiverSakina who gave me the song Night After Night by the Rasmus... I swear I'm addicted to them now...**

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**Bella mcwilliams, ShuichiYuki01, Yana5, ferler, RenoBites44, MitarashiiDango, Island Honey, Kiduku Desire, animegirl2781, Narutos sis and Itachis girl, PissyNovelist, papertrails, DarkMetalAngel of Destruction, **

**~MidnightEmber**


	16. Rage

**Sorry this took so long...*sigh*...i have been busy but i have finished it! So enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter Sixteen: Rage

The air was tense yet excited in the studio. Everyone seated in the audience was practically jumping in their seats. The crew were also like this but had to retain a professional air so they kept their excitement hidden behind a mask of indifference. The stage had been set up the night before hand and prepared for anything that might occur including an audience riot. Nothing slipped by the stage crew even on a day like today.

Today was the day that Touching Darkness began to reveal their hidden pasts one day at a time only no one knew who was going to be first. Fans all hoped that it would be Shuichi Shindo since they desired to know the events that leaded him to quitting Bad Luck and start a new life in America however this was highly unlikely.

The audience all calmed as a spotlight fell upon the hostess, Miyuki-chan signalling the beginning of the program.

"Welcome to World Music the show that brings you the latest gossip about music. For the next four days we shall be airing a special live show based on the lives of Touching Darkness members Chaos, Sorrow, Mello and Rage. It is with great anticipation that we welcome our current guest Kamijo Higurashi also known as Rage of the band Touching Darkness."

The hostess waited patiently for the crowd to stop cheering as Kamijo entered the stage and sat down oposite Miyuki-chan. Everyone knew Rage was famous for his short temper even when it came to the fans. Kamijo however was surprisingly calm.

"Well shall we get started with the simple questions them?" Miyuki-chan asked.

"I suppose so." Kamijo simply desired for this entire evening to go as fast as possible though he doubted that would happen.

"Every band member from the former Touching Darkness has a hidden past. Where does your past begin?"

Kamijo wasn't looking forward to revealing any of this past on live television but it was part of the new contract with NG so he had no choice but to oblige or Touching Darkness would be looking for a new drummer.

"I suppose it all began when I was in high school. During this time I lived in America. My mother was Japanese but my father was American so we moved to be closer to him. I grew up learning both languages and it was there that I fell in love-"

The audience all sighed as he mentioned the word 'love' and Kamijo desperately had to control his anger. He hated when girls went all silly because of the one word and then began chattering about their 'destined one' or some rubbish like that. It was a complete waste of time or so he believed so he ignored them and continued.

"I met Lillian Morton in my tenth year. We we different from the other students. It was my heritage that set me apart from the rest but it was Lillian's personality for her. She wasn't like every other girl that paraded around like she owned the place. The air around her was calming and helped me relax because even then I was short tempered."

Kamijo paused to catch his breathe then. He had never talked so much before let alone about something so personal. Yet years of heart ahce began to melt away as he revealed more.

"Naturally we attracted each other and began to form a friendship that developed into love. It was so simple and we both enjoyed each others company whether we were simply sitting or making out. None of that mattered as long as we were together. There was only one problem though, my best friend, Carlo Lakefield. He had been my friend since we were five. Our likes and dislikes were the same and for that we were inseparable. Well that was until I met Lillian, the one difference in out lives. I loved everything about her while Carlo hated everything about her."

"No matter what I tired to tell Carlo about Lillian he would never come to meet her. It was as if he were repulsed by the very thought of her. These thoughts just kept esculating until one day Carlo snapped."

Again Kamijo had to take another break. Things were now coming to the conclusion of his tragic past and he never wanted to hear another word of this after tonight. He simply wanted to move past everything and live with Lillian in his mind forever as the innocent girl she had once been.

"I spent hours searching for them wondering where they would go considering Carlo hated Lillian. When I finally found them behind the Gymnasium Carlo was standing over Lillian a common butchers knife in his hand. He didn't utter a word but I could see the mad look he had in his eyes. It was desperation. It was then that I understood. Lillian had loved me but Carlo had been with me for years and felt the same way. Lillian was buried with her grandparents while her parents and I stood over her grave. Carlo was sent to prison for thirty years an when he gets out he will discover I want nothing to do with him."

Kamijo had finally finished with as much detail as his heart could handle. He didn't want everyone to know the exact details of what occured that day considering he didn't want to remember himself. Simply seeing Lillian lying there with glassy expressionless eyes was enough to make him angry not to mention the conversation that he had with Carlo afterwards. It was all too much for him to handle and wouldn't wnat anyone else finding out about it.

The entire audience was now in tears over his story which made Kamijo extremely frustrated. They weren't even finished with the interview yet! Why were these silly people crying? Were they trying to make him angry? Not that he wasn't doing a superb job of that on his own. He despised tears especially those of females. It simply bought back too many memories for his taste.

"That is simply so sad Higurashi-san. Let's move away from that traumatic experience. How did you join Touching Darkness?" Miyuki-chan said sensing his discomfort.

Rage sighed well at least that wasn't a long story.

"I began the drums to calm the rage burning inside of me. Then five years after that incident, I was already working for XMR when the thought of Touching Darkness was formed. From there I simply auditioned and Shuichi happened to pick me for the role."

"Did he know about your past?" Were these people ever going to leave that subject alone?

"No. One of the conditions was that the member's pasts would be left behind them and not included in the work life at all including use of names."

Kamijo was beginning to relax again since he could answer these questions with a single sentence. Paragraphs were simply too much for him at the current point in time.

"How is your relationship with the other band members?"

"Sorrow, Chaos and I are really good friends since we have practically been living with each other for three years."

"What about Mello?"

"My relationship with Mello is closer than that with Sorrow and Chaos," he said carefully, "We are like Sorrow and Chaos in the way that we support each other through our tough moments. He helps me to calm down when I'm angry like Lillian use to do. They have the same calming aura. Together I fell that I'm never truly alone."

The entire audience was in tears yet again though they were different now. Kamijo was barely controlling his anger. The thought that he had just ruined his status as 'Rage' both on stage and in personality was crippling to him.

"Thank you so much for sharing that touching story with us Higurashi-san." The hostess said between sobs.

"Tomorrow night we shall bring you the next band member of Touching Darkness who shall reveal their past. Let's hope that the next story isn't as emotional as tonight's was or we shall have to supply the audience with tissues. Until then goodnight."

The segment ended and Kamijo was finally allowed to leave. He didn't want to be around when the audience was let out in case they decided to try and console him. He despised people trying to console him especially when he didn't want it. Only one person was allowed to see him in such a weakened state and that person was waiting for him back in their new apartment. Together they would never be alone.

* * *

"Are you nervous?"

Shuichi looked up from the television to see Yuki sitting on the couch behind him. He had been watching Kamijo's interview even though they had told each other everything during the week. It somehow revealed more of there personality when they did present the truth on television. Shuichi could tell that Kamijo felt uncomfortable telling everyone about his past unlike when he had told Touching Darkness.

"What do you mean?"

Same old Shu-chan, Yuki sighed, his still as clueless as ever.

"Are you nervous about your interview?"

Shuichi looked up at him confusion clearly written on his face.

"Why would I be nervous about it?"

"You will have to explain the reason you left three years ago and about our relationship and how that has been affected."

Shuichi thought for a moment. Sure he would have to tell everyone on life television about his experiences and the real reason that Touching Darkness reformed after only three years together but he wasn't truly worried about any of that.

"As long as you are waiting here for me when I get home I have nothing to worry about." Shuichi said smiling like a Cheshire cat.

Before he could do or say anything else, Yuki had pulled him into an awkward hug on the couch. Some things never changed yet there were some that had changed for the best.

* * *

Shadows were cast along the wall as cars passed noisily below him. The television was still on and playing at this late hour of the night but the occupant wasn't even paying any attention to this. He was far more concerned about his life.

"How could they do this to me? Not to mention I was replaced by the one that quit!" Daisuke muttered to himself angrily.

He sat alone in his run down apartment now that he had to save ever single cent he still had. It felt like only yesterday that Seguchi-san had called him up to his office and told him in a polite yet harsh tone that he was no longer needed and if he were to try anything against Shuichi or the new Touching Darkness members he would end up in a bad situation.

Daisuke couldn't help but shiver. He knew what happened to the last person that went against Seguchi-san's orders and he definatly didn't want to end up like that. There has to be some way around this, he thought. There has to be some way to get my revenge...

* * *

**One down three to go! Who shall be next I wonder?**

**You know what I just realized...this is going to take me ages!!! XD**

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**Sakuita, sparkling red, Kiduku Desire, SeikaDragon, Island Honey, chochowilliams, DarkMetalAngel of Destruction, RiverSakina, Yana5, PKS, animegirl2781, RenoBites44, Kat-Sakura**

**~MidnightEmber**


	17. Mello

Chapter Seventeen: Mello

Once again the stage was set up for the second interview of the week this time with Mello from Touching Darkness. Everything was running smoothly. Since the interview yesterday, the ratings for their show had sky rocketed to number one which wasn't surprising really. With the only interviews for Touching Darkness of course they were going to be highly rated. No one else was allowed an interview with the members and this was a one time event meaning that the no reporters would be allowed to even breach these topics after this day. Lucky them really. The hostess smiled as they came on air.

"Welcome back to the second day of out Touching Darkness live segment. Today with us we have Setsuna Aoyagi also known as Mello."

Setsuna sat quietly as the crowd went wild with cheers and whistles. Honestly they weren't going to make him act out and go wild himself by doing something like that. Who would even try to act out to be more confident than is necessary in a person? So he reframed from saying anything incriminating.

"Good evening." he said simply.

"Well shall we get started with the all important question?"

Seriously they really wanted to get into their pasts. Setsuna didn't believe that they truly desired to help them with these interviews all it was to them was a segment with ratings that would soar as soon as he opened his mouth to talk about his painful past and memories.

"Go ahead."

"What was your past like Setsuna-san?"

This was it. The moment of truth. Not that he hadn't already told his current band mates but something about telling a live audience and millions of viewers was different. But he had seen Kamijo do the exact same thing only a day before. He had also seen Kamijo after he had returned that night looking as if he had been drained of his energy. Setsuna knew that he would end up in the same state as his boyfriend when he returned home.

Underneath his mask of indifference Setsuna was terrified.

"When I was young I lived in Japan with my mother and father. They were both Japanese and we lived happily together for the first few years."

This was the easy part yet even speaking two sentences was more than Setsuna had ever done before except when in the presence of his friends.

"When I turned six my mother died. After her funeral my father was a wreck. He didn't sleep and hardly ate anything that didn't look like it had been made by my mother."

"A few years later my father suddenly perked up. He had met another woman. I don't dislike her at all. She was kind and caring but wouldn't replace my mother and she knew that. Of course she had two older boys that became my step-brothers. They were anything but nice towards me."

"I will not give you their names for certain reasons. They both despised me and blamed my father and I for their parents divorce. My father would simply be ignored because they didn't want to upset their mother however I was constantly beaten and neglected by them both. It wasn't something that could be changed either since they were family. I don't desire to go into details at this point."

Setsuna had to take a breath to keep himself calm at this point. Sure it was one thing to discuss your past in front of everyone but it was another to discuss it and remember every single torturous detail. But the worst of it was over for now. He could go home and forget it once again with the help of Kamijo.

"As soon as I turned fifteen I made the decision to study in America where I could be rid of my family and that's where I heard of Touching Darkness. One of my friends were part of XMR and brought home an application form however they decided that they wanted me to try for a position since I could play both the bass and guitar. I went to the audition and it just so happened that I tried for bass first and was given the position by Shuichi and his current manager K. A week later I met Kamijo and Shuri and the band was formed."

Finally Setsuna finished his long flashback of painful memories and could focus on something positive his new life with Kamijo and Touching Darkness. Miyuki-chan was very solemn at that time and so was the entire audience. Even though this made him terribly annoyed his face didn't betray any emotion.

"What is your relationship with your other band members?" the hostess asked calmly.

"Chaos, Sorrow and I are really close. Well I really should say Shuichi, Shuri and I are really close. We love to hang out and enjoy each other's company especially when filled with laughs. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for them."

This had been the easiest of the questions to answer. He knew that when talking about his friends nothing could hold him back.

"What about Rage?" Setsuna smiled. He had guessed that this question would be asked after what Kamijo had said last night. Well at least he could try and hide their relationship a bit longer.

"I believe Rage mentioned that last night. We are close and find comfort in each other's company."

Lying to the press was something that Setsuna could do easily.

"Thank you for revealing your past to us Setsuna-san. Tomorrow on the show we shall be having a chat with yet another member of Touching Darkness. Who will it be? Find out on tomorrow's segment."

Applause met Miyuki-chan's words as the program ended.

* * *

Setsuna walked into his new apartment. Even though it was a little past twelve at night the lights were still on and welcomed him back into his home. Sure it wasn't much but anything was better than living with his true family.

After the segment had finished, Setsuna had remained behind lost in thought and for that had trouble leaving when everyone decided to wish him well in the future and ask for his autograph. Not having the heart to turn them away, Setsuna had given a few autographs and photos before finally reaching the waiting limo. It had taken the driver half and hour to leave him at the drop off point so he could walk back to his apartement and remain unknown from the public.

Sighing, Setsuna dropped his belongings which consisted of a navy blue bag on the ground before flopping onto a couch. Now that he was at home he could loosen up and relax.

"How are you?"

Jumping slightly at the sudden noise, he sat up to find a person standing in the shadows. Setsuna simply smiled before replying.

"It was nothing I couldn't handle on my own but now...I'm glad to be home."

"Why is that?"

"It's the place where you are, Kamijo. That is all the comfort I need to sleep well. If you are here I need nothing else."

Kamijo walked out of the shadows of their apartment and enveloped Setsuna in a warm hug.

"As long as you are here I have nothing to fear."

* * *

**And then there was chapter seventeen...seriously this is really going to take forever so sorry if the updates are slow...they should pick up after i've finished their past lives!**

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**InkGirl77, Loveless19, jo, RenoBites44, Island Honey, PKS, chochowilliams, Kiduku Desire, RiverSakina**

**~MidnightEmber**


	18. Chaos

Chapter Eighteen: Chaos

"Well this is certainly a surprise! Today we are with the lead singer of Touching Darkness, Chaos also known as Shuichi Shindo formally of the band Bad Luck!"

The audience began to go hysterical as Shuichi walked calmly on stage. After all he hadn't been in the music business all those years simply to panic or jump around the stage when it really wasn't called for at the time. He was here to explain to Japan what had caused him to leave three years ago and that was exactly what he was going to do whether they liked it or not. Tonight he was Shuichi Shindo not Choas or Shu-chan but a mix of both and as such he would remain in his true persona. After tonight everything would be settled.

"What happened three years ago Shindo-san? Why did you leave everything behind?" Miyuka-chan asked. She decided to simply jump straight into the reason why they were on the show to begin with, perfect, simply perfect.

"Well I suppose it all has to do with Eiri Yuki-"

At this the entire audience began to squeal in delight. Of course they would. Even though they had split up for a few years they were still the most talked about couple in Japan. Now that they were back together it wasn't likely to change the people's views on them.

"- he had been suffering from an illness in the months before I left which was caused by stress mainly from his job and his relationships. During a hospital visit I came across Tohma Seguchi my boss and Yuki's brother-in-law. He convinced me in a very harsh manner that I was the cause for Yuki's current health and that to save him I should leave. Of course when it comes to Yuki I don't think about what could happen to me I only think about him. I left after resigning from NG Records and with my manager K I left Japan for America to start again."

Shuichi could hear individuals in the audience ask whether Yuki was alright and whether they were still together but he kept his focus on Miyuki-chan as she asked her next question.

"What happened after you arrived in America?"

Shuichi couldn't help but smile. Those memories were priceless.

"I have to say that my time during America was one of the best experiances of my life. When K and I first arrived we travelled straight to XMR. They had previously spoken about my talent and their desire to have me join their company so that is what I chose to do. It was simple and easy but I no longer had a band with me which meant that I had to hold auditions and choose a whole new band."

"I knew that I never wanted to be found by Tohma or Yuki. At the time it was just too much to handle so I decided that my new band would have a different look and sound a darker look and sound if you would. I held the auditions and found suitable performers all who also had traumatic pasts that they desired to leave and forget. That was an added bonus for me so we began the band Touching Darkness."

Shuichi paused as he thought back to the auditions. He knew that America had talented people but they also had there fair share of untalented people who tried even though they knew deep down that they had no shot. Smiling, slightly he continued with his answer.

"The first few months after we had formed were simply a disaster. It was terribly hectic. We had to write lyrics and create the music to several songs before our first gig. After that night though everything settled down and we seemed to get into a rhythm. Touching Darkness quickly become one of the best bands in America and after that we decided to move abroad leading us here to Japan."

"Did you ever believe that you would join NG again?" Miyuki-chan was now ignroing the questions she had written before the show and was now simply asking what she desired to know.

"Upon arriving back in Japan I didn't even believe that I would meet with any of my old friends or even my family. The life I had lead for the past three years had made me very happy and I enjoyed every moment I had there. Once everyone began to figure out who I truly was here I missed them dearly and the more I worked with them the more I came to realize that even though America was an excellent place to be, Japan was and still remains to be my home."

"Now everyone has noticed that you have changed your personality completly. What brought about this change?"

Shuichi knew that question had been coming. He had thought about how to answer that and decided to leave out as much detail as possible.

"When I decided to change my music I thought about my persoanlity during my time as vocalist for Bad Luck and it didn't fit the image I had in mind. So I changed my personality to the calm figure I am now. I believe my experiances simply made me grow up from the boy I use to be. However I still retain that part of my personaltiy its just seen by my close friends and family."

"How is your relationship with your past band members those of Bad Luck."

Darn. Shuichi had known that would eventually appear in the future. However he had hoped that it wouldn't be mentioned tonight as he wasn't sure where exactly he stood with his friends. Sure they were still friends though they were no longer as close as they had once been.

"Everything with them has been taken slowly after all I did miss three years of their lives. I've learnt many things now about them and we still are close. Though I would have to say I'm closer to Shuri, Kamijo and Setsuna than Hiro and Suguru. But I suppose that is all due to my three year leave."

"What about your relationship with Touching Darkness?"

"As I mentioned before we are close. Kamijo and Setsuna are my best friends nothing can change that. Shuri though...he was like my older brother. He was always so protective and would help me in anyway when my memories of Japan would send me into depression and as such I would do the same for him. We were close, we were family."

Shuichi drifted off after that thought. They were like brothers. He missed Shuri terribly and only hoped that he did as well. Then an idea sparked in his mind and he began to plan. Miyuki-chan who had noticed that Shuichi had drifted off into his own world turned to the camera and the audience.

"Join us tomorrow for our final interview with Sorrow from Touching Darkness."

* * *

Yuki paced in the hallway outside the studio. Techinically he should have been waiting patiently in Shuichi's room but he couldn't. He couldn't even pluck up enough courage to watch the segment on the small television in the room. Soon everyone in Japan would know why Shuichi had left Japan. That was something that Yuki wasn't very proud of. Sure he'd had nothing to do with it directly but now everyone would be talking about it.

"Yuki? Why aren't you in the waiting room?"

Yuki glanced up into the violet eyes of his lover. They were calm yet revealed a deep sadness as if he had just relived a terrible nightmare. Though he swore that he also saw a twinkle of something mischevous in his eyes.

"I couldn't handle the stress. I don't even want to know what everyone is thinking right about now."

"Yuki, you need to calm down. Everything will be fine as long as I have you!" Shuichi said cheerfully.

Yuki almost fell over as Shuichi jumped onto him in a bear hug. He couldn't help but shake his head at his lover's antics.

"As long as I have you I have nothing to fear." Yuki heard Shuichi mumble into his chest.

"Brat, let's go home."

* * *

Daisuke glanced around at the plan details he had with him. Yes everything would work. The plan was flawless there was no way that he could fail!

Of course he never imagined the lengths that everyone would go to in aiding Shuichi Shindo. That would be his undoing...

* * *

**So I have decided to leave Sorrow for last as suggested by jo Why? Well you shall have to just wait and see! ****But i really hate Daisuke!!! I have started on the next chapter and have it half complete! YAY! **

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**DarkMetalAngel of Destruction, chochowilliams, PKS**

**Also thanks for the favourite/story alerts!**

**~MidnightEmber**


	19. Sorrow

Chapter Nineteen: Sorrow

The final day of interviews had arrived and no one was more nervous than Shuri. He was the sole reason they were having these interviews in the first place. If he had kept a level head when Shuichi decided to reunite with his beloved Yuki then he wouldn't be in this situation. No matter what Shu-chan had said though, Shuri still believed that Yuki was a bastard and didn't deserve to be with his little brother. Though it didn't really matter what he thought. After all he was seeing a psychiatrist now and Shuichi was still with Yuki.

Now because of his drastic actions he was forced to be here revealing his past to all of those interested in watching. Not only that he had to risk Shuichi never trusting him again. Just the thought that Shuichi might never talk to him again worried Shuri to no end. He didn't want to lose Shuichi not like Ray.

Without even realizing that the show had begun, Shuri heard the host, Miyuki-chan begin.

"Now please welcome Shuri Kozuki also known as Sorrow previously the guitarist of the band Touching Darkness."

The applause for him were just as loud as it had been for Shuichi, Kamijo and Setsuna. That helped to lift his spirits.

"Where does your past begin Shuri-san?" Miyuki-chan asked.

And that was where this day hit rock bottom. Taking a deep breath Shuri began.

"I have lived in America for my entire life. My parents were both Japanese but they moved to America to be with friends. I had a normal life. My friends supported me in everything I did throughout school and I also had my share of relationships. Everything began for me when my friends and I met up with a person named Ray. We were getting a band together just for local performances to keep everyone entertained in our small town all we needed was a volcalist."

"Thats when Ray showed up in our favourite bar and proposed that he be our vocalist. Naturally we agreed. Ray and I quickly got into a relationship and we were seen everywhere together. Anyway a few weeks down the road and we were the most well known people in the town. Then Ray decided that he wanted us to sign up with a talent agency and get our careers as an actual band off the ground. We debated several times but eventually we agreed to give it a shot."

"A few months after that we met up with a scout and she told us that she would be able to help us. We were all so enthusiastic about it and couldn't wait but no one was more so than Ray. Slowly he began to spend more time with our scout and less time with me until I discovered that he had been cheating on me with her. With the help of my friends I confronted him and he promised never to do it again."

Shuri tried his hardest not to break down. He missed the feelings that Ray had bought him yet knew that running back to him would only bring more heartache. Knowing that everyone was watching he continued with as little emotion in his voice as possible.

"If only all people were truly that believable. Merely a week after the confrontation I saw him with yet another girl. I didn't take it to well and through all of his belongings out of our shared aparement before he came home. I was so distressed by this that I also quit the band and moved into the city where I saw the advertisment for a guitarist and went straight to the audition. From there I met Shuichi, Kamijo and Setsuna and wer formed Touching Darkness."

By this point the audience was in tears. Some were actually furious that he had been led on in such a way. This helped to ease Shuri's pain.

"How would you describe you relationship with your ex-band members?"

"Since I'm no longer considered a member of Touching Darkness I'm not sure of what they think of me but I would still like to be close to them. Kamijo and Setsuna were both really good at distracting me from my past."

He could remembered every single day that they spent together. It was as if he didn't have a care in the world.

"What about your connection to Shuichi Shindo?" Miyuki asked.

Shuri froze. He hadn't even thought about continuing his relationship with Shuichi in any way. He didn't believe that Shuichi would ever want to go anywhere near him again.

"Shuichi was like my younger brother and I was scared that if Yuki-san came back into his life that Shu-chan would forget about me and leave me alone like ... did. I only hope that he can forgive me for everything that I have done to him."

"Now we have a special gift for you Shuri-san. Tonight we present especially for you Touching Darkness."

* * *

Shuichi watched from the back of the room as Shuri revealed his story. He knew that Shuri was suffering from everything that he had been through but was glad that he was getting help for it now. He no longer had to suffer on his own.

"Now we have a special gift for you Shuri-san. Tonight we present especially for you Touching Darkness."

Shuichi smiled as the spotlight turned to them where they were standing on a raised platform behind the audience. As soon as the spotlight hit them. Kamijo, Setsuna, Suguru and Hiro began to play. Then Shuichi opened his mouth and began to sing over the instruments

_I remember when  
We used to laugh  
About nothing at all  
It was better than going mad  
From trying to solve all the problems we're going through  
Forget 'em all  
Cause on those nights we would stand and never fall  
Together we faced it all  
Remember when we'd_

Shuri sat listening to Shuichi sing about the times they'd spent together. He could see clearly every single trip they had been on especially for tours.They had spent endless hours together doing absolutly anything they desired. The only thing was they always had a time limit and after that limit was up K had come searching for them guns blazing...in the open public. He would never forget those days.

_  
Stay up late and we'd talk all night  
In a dark room lit by the TV light  
Through all the hard times in my life  
Those nights kept me alive  
We'd listen to the radio play all night  
Didn't want to go home to another fight  
Through all the hard times in my life  
Those nights kept me alive_

_I remember when  
We used to drive  
Anywhere but here  
As long as we'd forget our lives  
We were so young and confused that we didn't know  
To laugh or cry  
Those nights were ours  
They will live and never die  
Together we'd stand forever  
Remember when we'd_

Kamijo watched as Shuri listened to them play intently. He knew that there bond as friends had been frayed with the stunt that Shuri had pulled with Shuichi but he had a feeling that it would be alright somehow. After all it was Shuichi that had suggested to hold this event and if he wanted nothing to do with Shuri then why would he ask?

Setsuna was having the exact same thoughts as he played beside Hiro. It would take a long time to get use to playing beside someone other than Shuri however a change was best for all of them after all Shuri was still having phsychiatric help and he couldn't very well play and help himself. Someday they would return to being the band they had once been but for now this was all they could do.

_Stay up late and we'd talk all night  
In a dark room lit by the TV light  
Through all the hard times in my life  
Those nights kept me alive  
We'd listen to the radio play all night  
Didn't want to go home to another fight  
Through all the hard times in my life  
Those nights kept me alive_

_Those nights belong to us  
There's nothing wrong with us  
Those nights belong to us_

_I remember when  
We used to laugh  
And now I wish those nights would last_

As his friends played alongside his voice, Shuichi watched Shuri and never regretted any of his decisions. So far he'd had an eventful life and he wouldn't change that even if it meant he could have spent longer with Yuki. No he was happy knowing that he had Kamijo and Setsuna by his side now. He knew that Shuri would join them one day and when that time came he would be welcomed back with open arms. For now he would enjoy his life with Touching Darkness and Yuki by his side.

_Stay up late and we'd talk all night  
In a dark room lit by the TV light  
Through all the hard times in my life  
Those nights kept me alive  
We'd listen to the radio play all night  
Didn't want to go home to another fight  
Through all the hard times in my life  
Those nights kept me alive_

Shuichi smiled at Shuri as the song came to an end before speaking.

"Shuri, you'll always be my brother whether or not you are by my side. I won't forget you and when you are finally released I will be there to see the man you have become."

Shuichi knew instictively that Kamijo and Setsuna believed the same. Hiro and Suguru were a different matter. They still blamed him for Shuichi's change in personality and attempted kidnapping. But knowing that it would resolve itself when the time came gave hope to Shuichi. He just hoped that the future would turn out to be just as adventurous as he past three years.

* * *

**And that's everyone's past lives! Finally! It is done! However the ending is drawing near or so i fear!!! Now the question is what is Daisuke planning??? ****... what should i write next after i finish this story??? sighes i have no idea....**

**The song used in the end here is Those Nights by Skillet.**

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**JessMess, RenoBites44, chochowilliams, sakuita, PKS, ferler, Kalsoklv, Kiduku Desire, DarkMetalAngel of Destruction**

**Thanks also for the Favourite/Story alerts!**

**~MidnightEmber**


	20. Reform

Chapter Twenty: Reform

Shuichi sat in studio thinking. It had only been two days since they had finished their interviews and something was annoying him. Shuri had mentioned to him before that he was only so unstable because of the last time he had seen Ray but by his explanation during the interview it didn't appear to him to be such a harsh reaction to any relationship. That meant that Shuri hadn't told the full truth during the interview and he desperatly desired to know the truth. Shuri was like a brother to Shuichi and he wanted to make sure that he would be alright when he returned to them eventually. Checking the others were busy Shuichi leaned over towards K who obviously knew at least some answers.

"K?"

"What is it this time Shuichi?" K said growling slightly.

For the past half an hour Shuichi had been asking him to allow them to take a break so that they could relax however he knew that they had only had a break over an hour ago so he wasn't about to allow another one till lunch. Shuichi was still just as lazy to work as he had been three years ago during Bad Luck.

"Shuri didn't explain the full truth during his interview did he?" Shuichi asked with sad expression written across his face.

K didn't know what to say. He definatly hadn't been expecting this when Shuichi had questioned him. Finally he took a breath and looked Shuichi in the eye. This was going to be a hard explanation.

"He kept some of the finer points to himself, why?" K answered.

"I want to know what actually happened to him during his break up at the end. I know he wasn't telling the truth then."

K looked at Shuichi. It was obvious that Shuichi cared deeply for Shuri. Who wouldn't when they were so close to each other?

"After the first time Ray cheated on him, Shuri forgave him instantly. He was so blinded by love that he couldn't see past the terrible things that Ray put him through. But on the second time he didn't actually break up with Ray he was a complete mess. He began to realize that something was amiss with his partner. What he left out was on the third time Ray cheated on him Ray left him without any clue for an entire month. Ray simply up and left. Shuri had no idea for an entire month."

"Shuri believed that Ray would return and would simply be sorry for everything that had occured over the past few years. It never happened and as time wore on he broke down. Shuri spent and entire month in thier apartement alone. Then when Ray returned he laughed at Shuri telling him that he was a fool if he ever thought that he'd mean anything to him. One of there mutal friends found him a day after that and helped him through it from there."

Shuichi was absolutly horrified at this. Sure when he would get annoying in the past Yuki had thrown him out or gave him the cold shoulder but this was pure torture. It was a wonder Shuri hadn't contemplated suicide after that.

"Only Tohma and I know so you'll have to keep it to yourself until he is ready to tell anyone if that day ever comes."

Shuichi knew he would have to agree to it. There was no way he could explain that to anyone who asked.

"I agree K."

Just then his band mates turned to him looking as if he'd lost his mind.

"You're agreeing with K? The world is going to end!" Hiro said sarcastically.

"Come on Shu you have to practice as well." Setsuna said.

Shuichi joined his bandmates, desperatly trying to move this dwelling thoughts on Shuri to the back of his mind at least for the time being.

* * *

Shuichi was sitting calmly on the sofa in their apartement. It had been a long day at work and he had finally been allowed to return home. Now the thoughts of Shuri had resurfaced and he couldn't get them out of his mind. He had tried to busy himself by listening to music and trying to write lyrics but they didn't hold hid attention for too long. Finally though he had settled for watching his Nittle Grasper videos until Yuki returned.

Yuki had gone down to his publisher to check on some of his books that were being published now that he had the inspiration to finish them. He had said that he would be back in an hour and if Shuichi wasn't there when he returned that he would be in trouble...whatever that meant. Somehow he doubted that he was going to be in actual trouble...

Hearing the doorbell ring, Shuichi immediatly jumped off the couch though he knew it was definatly not his beloved Yuki.

"Coming!" he called in sing-song voice.

As he opened the door, the sight made him freeze.

"Hello Shuichi-san I think we need to talk..."

Daisuke stood in the doorway yet this Daisuke didn't look alive like he once had. His blond hair was now ratty and dishevelled. He clearly hadn't bathed in days and was wearing the same clothes he had the last time he had spoken to the vocalist. Something was off about this. Whether Daisuke needed help or not was definatly thrown into question as Shuichi stepped back to allow him inside.

Checking the clock, Shuichi realised that Yuki would be returning soon and figured that it probably wouldn't be the best idea to have Daisuke there when he returned especially if he wasn't in a good mood.

"What is it that you want?" Shuichi asked cautiously.

Shuichi sat calmly back down on the couch watching the vocalist look around the room with vacant eyes. He seemed barely aware of where he was or even who he was currently with. Daisuke's eyes finally settled upon his own after browsing the room silently.

Shuichi's eyes widened as Daisuke pulled a gun out of his front pocket and pointed it towards Shuichi.

"What do I want? I want you out of my way."

BANG!

* * *

**CLIFFHANGER!!!**

**am i cruel or what? hehe...well this is i guess the most suspense filled cliffie i have done yet... **

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**fangirl94, Kiduku Desire, ferler, athcaga.4ever, Lightkingdoms, chochowilliams, PKS, ParaDOXicalPotatoes, JessMess**

**~MidnightEmber**


	21. The Final Straw

Last Time...

_Shuichi's eyes widened as Daisuke pulled a gun out of his front pocket and pointed it towards Shuichi._

_"What do I want? I want you out of my way."_

_BANG!_

* * *

Chapter Twenty-One: The Final Straw

The last thing that Shuichi could remember was the loud bang that echoed around the room. Though he wasn't even sure whether the bullet had hit him . . . or if Daisuke had pulled the trigger. He didn't feel any pain that usually came from being shot but then again he could already be dead and just not know it. Then he wouldn't be able to see Yuki again. That thought brought tears to Shuichi's eyes though he did feel solid and if he was a ghost . . . could ghosts even cry? No he felt solid and he didn't feel any pain so that meant that somehow he was still alive.

Looking up Daisuke was no longer in front of him holding the gun which was odd since that was the last thing he remembered. Glancing around the room he noticed Daisuke on the floor with the gun loosely held in his hand as if he had just fallen over. How did he get on the floor? Probably by the book that was flung at his head which was also lying innocently by Daisuke's head. Following the book's path he noticed where the bang had originated from.

"Yuki!"

Yuki had obviously flung open the door in an attempt to reach Shuichi before Daisuke could pull the trigger. The door had been opened with such ferocity that it had hit the wall with a bang . . . well at least that solved the bang problem. With that done Yuki had obviously thrown his newest book at Daisuke in the confusion in an attempt to either distract Daisuke or move him away. Not that it actually worked since he was unconcious. Shuichi didn't think that knocking him unconcious was the main aim Yuki was going for though but it was welcome all the same.

"Shuichi, are you alright?"

Yuki was obviously pissed off. His voice was hard and sounded harsh though he knew that it wasn't directed at him. The glare accompaning the voice only added to the effect. Of course he had reason to be pissed. Yet another person had tried to take him away from Yuki except this time he wouldn't have been able to return once someone located them. Thankfully that wouldn't happen now.

"Yeah, I was a little worried but now that your here everything shall be fine!" Shuichi said energetically trying desperatly to hide his fear.

Yuki looked over towards Shuichi and knew that he was hiding his true feelings. Being held at gun point didn't make someone energetic unless they wanted to die and he knew that wasn't the case with Shuichi. His Shuichi couldn't ever take his own life.

"I'll call Tohma and K so they can cover this mess up."

Yuki didn't walk far away though remaining in the same area as Shuichi in case Daisuke woke. As soon as he was finished with the phone call Yuki sat down beside Shuichi and as calmly as possible began whispering words in Shuichi ear to distract him from the thought of his near death experiance. When K and Tohma arrived, Shuichi was still sitting on the couch though he was a lot more conservative than he normally was. He tensed when Daisuke and the gun were picked up by K and taken from the room. He only relaxed when K, Tohma and Daisuke finally life.

"Is he gone?" Shuichi asked in a small voice.

"Yes no one shall harm you, my brat, at least not while I'm around."

Shuichi cuddled into the familiar embrace that Yuki provided willingly much to Shuichi's amusement. If he had attempted this three years ago he would have been pushed away. Nothing could stand between them now. All paths to the future had been cleared. Shuri was seeking help for his depression, Daisuke was going to jail for attempted murder and Yuki was still the same person he fell in love with though there were significant changes in his personality that allowed him to open up to Shuichi more than in the past. Everything felt right.

* * *

The attempt on Shuichi's life managed to make its way into the papers only a day afterwards even though Tohma had tried to stop it. Somehow the story managed to appear in a small magazine and once everyone had seen the front page the magazine was a huge sell out. Not that it was truly annoying or anything. It just gave him more publicity. He wouldn't talk about what happened though. Shuichi never wanted to relive that moment again though he did talk about it with Yuki but that was different.

Currently they were sitting in NG with the rest of his band, K and Tohma. Yuki was there for moral support though Shuichi believed that he was only there to keep him company and make sure that nothing like that ever happened again. His protectiveness was attractive if not annoying at times. They were here to discuss what was going to happen to Daisuke though no one truly cared as long as he was never allowed near them again.

"Daisuke was slightly losing his mind to rage and revenge. I believe he was so far gone that he didn't even truly know what he was doing at the time nor where exactly he was. He might have even simply seen someone who looked like Shuichi and attacked them at that point. It just happened that Shuichi was in fact the correct person he was searching for." K explained.

"What is going to happen to him now?" Hiro asked.

"So far all we know is that he is going to be spending a few years in jail . . . that is if they don't send him to an asylum. He seriously couldn't even stand straight by the time we reached the station. We are pretty sure that he was taking something just not sure what. His apartment is being searched for substance."

Everyone fell silent at that. No one had truly cared about Daisuke. He was after all only a replacement for Shuichi not that anyone could have replaced him which was proven when he returned. Maybe if someone had payed attention they would have seen that something was wrong with the young vocalist.

"Are you planning to have anything more to do with his case?" Setsuna asked breaking the silence.

"We're not allowed to have any more to do with his case. The police are going to search his apartment as I said before. Once everything is finalized they are going to send us the information to satisfy the company but that's all we can really do. They don't want us to interfere."

"I suppose its better than nothing." Kamijo said gruffly.

Silence followed again. Everyone was lost in thought. They should have payed closer attention. But there was nothing that could be done now and if they decided to begin with the 'what if's' they would only begin to feel even worse for what they did or what they didn't do to aid Daisuke. Once they had all snapped out of their thoughts there was only one thing left that they could do.

"Alright then lets begin practice!"

* * *

Two years later. . .

Shuichi and Yuki stepped out of the car. It had been five years since they had moved past the horrible day Shuichi had left Yuki behind and two years since he had returned to Japan. Everything was moving smoothly. The band was a huge success. They topped the charts in Japan constantly and over seas they were well known and growing bigger. Even Yuki's books were selling better than before which was amazing since he was doing well before he had even met Shuichi.

Hiro and Ayaka had been married only a year ago and were happily living together. Ayaka was a month pregnant though the only person she had told was Shuichi. She wasn't sure how she was going to tell Hiro but Shuichi knew that Hiro would be exstatic that he was going to be a father.

Setsuna and Kamijo were happy spending their time together though they still wouldn't admit that they were together. Shuichi could simply tell especially since Kamijo was so jealous everytime their fans began to swoon over the bass guitarist. It was adorable but he wouldn't tell Kamjio that for fear of his wrath.

Suguru was dating a girl named Akari. She was polite and so much like him. They were a good match and seemed to bring out the best in everyone surrounding them. Thankfully Shuichi also calmed down whilst in her presence which was a sight to be seen.

Tohma was still head of NG Records and his marriage with Yuki's sister was going strong. They had two children now. Two boys named, Suzaku and Teru. While K was still the unimaginable guard and manager to them all. His marriage was still the same as always.

Daisuke on the other hand was placed in an asylum after being pronounced insane. Shuichi hadn't thought that he was that bad honestly. But it was proven that he couldn't keep himself together since he was so lost in the revenge that he had planned for Shuichi and the band. It was only getting worse as well. No matter what anyone did for him the only thing that would calm him was medicine and even then he had moments where he was completly lost to his insanity. Shuichi felt that he didn't really deserve to live a life like that but there was nothing he could do about it unless he decided that he wanted to die by Daisuke's hand which wasn't an option at the current point in time. He was enjoying his life just the way it was.

Shaking his head, Shuichi watched as his brother walked out of the front doors and spotted them. During Shuri's stay at the institute he had come close to giving up hope that he would move past his despression but hung in there for Shuri's sake. If he couldn't be happy then what hope was there for his beloved brother?

Sure enough Shuri walked calmly and confidently up to them dressed in his normal clothes. No longer did he have to wear the loose clothes that were provided for patients and he was definatly glad for it. Shuichi was overjoyed that his brother was no longer stuck in his depression. This was the last piece to the puzzle and he wanted to make sure everyone knew that Shuri was still wanted by the band even though he no longer played guitar.

"Hello Shuri, ready to rejoin the real world?" Shuichi asked from his place beside his fiancé.

Shuri smiled brightly at the sight they made together.

"There's no place I'd rather be."

* * *

The End.

* * *

**And there we have it! Finally we have reached the ending! *sighes* i really enjoyed writing this but now i shall write other fics XD yay!!!!**

**Thanks for the reviews...**

**Eveliina92, JoeyWheeler4evr, RenoBites44, chochowilliams, Kalsoklv, Kiduku Desire, fangirl94, ferler, animegirl2781, PKS, JessMess**

**~MidnightEmber**


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